Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are you divorced?..Going through one?.. Please tell me how you made it through?

I'm filing my papers and GOD, it hurts. I know its the right thing, but it hurts so bad. I do love him, but I cant take this crap anymore.

How did you make it through?... Does it still hurt?.. When did you stop crying?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I am currently going through one. It's hard and it hurts and I've lost it a few times.

    Things get easier with time.

    Much like you, I know it's the right thing to do, it doesn't make it hurt any less though. There are so many feelings that come with it. Sadness, anger, failure, hopelessness , confusion...just to name a few.

    Things that have helped me have been having a great support system of friends and writing. A lot of writing.

    There is a group on Cafe Mom that has helped too.
    I'll go to it to get the link for you.

    It's full of women going through the same thing. It helps to know you're not alone and it also helps to see other women who have gone through it and survived it.

    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:01 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • it was the worst the first few weeks and I doubted myself and cried a lot but I was lucky I had supportive friends who took me in and stood by myside when I left him. If it wasn't for them (specifically her) I dont know if I could have done it. I feel bad though because i don't see this friend like I should. Life and it's hectic ways has made it hard to spend time with anyone. If it is the right thing to do, it still hurts, especially when you have been together for so long (for me 7yrs) but I was also so relieved to bev done with the drama and pain. 3yrs later and I have NO regrets. The marriage was over WAY before I filed the papers and I am finally happy:) Good luck
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:59 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • http://www.cafemom.com/group/8004

    Join this group and vent away. You will find love and support from the members in it.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 6:02 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I've been single 21 years and love it! After my divorce I decided not to date and it was a great decision for me.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 6:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry you're going through this. In all honesty, I have not been in pain from leaving my ex. I have missed my life as a mom (I have to work more hours now since I'm single) with my suburban life and my home, etc, but I do not miss him, never have.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 6:17 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I cried a lot. I once went to a therapist (over another issue) and complained that I was "crying all of the time". She told me to watch the clock. Literally. If you feel like you are crying "too" much, take a look at the time the next time you start crying, time how long until you stop crying and write it down. The next time, time it again and by the third time you will probably find that you are already crying for less time. That has worked for me ever since I learned it, through deaths in the family, divorce, ds having legal problems, everything. (((((((((((((HUGS TO YOU)))))))))). I've been divorced and fine for 16 years now.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:34 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • you just keep breathing honey...keep walking, keep breathing, and one day you will stop picking yourswelf to pieces over the 'what ifs"...it gets better...(hugs) mama.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 8:03 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • It may not be love. It may be relationship addiction, afraid to be alone and start over. If it's toxic it could be obsession or control, not love. If it were love you would not be hurting, crying and filing for divorce. Someone's not loving someone in the picture.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I got the truth from him before I served him with Divorce papers. That was the closure I needed to make the decision I did to file for divorce (we were separated at the time). Best decision I ever made. I cried more over the ending of the relationship than I did for him. Knowing that I would never have to deal with him in the magnitude that I did while we were together also helped me breathe easier.
    NikLvsNick

    Answer by NikLvsNick at 11:46 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I filed, he's being served in a few days and is currently moving stuff out. We're telling my son tonight. I am definitely ok with my decision, just hoping my son will be ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN