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I need help with my soon to be hubby

Lately he has been really quick to fight! I asked him where his bachlor party is going to be at? And the response I got was quit being nosey, its non of ur business (well yea it is b/c we have 2 kids) his party is at a hotel. I dont care>they are gonna be drinking! I trust him we have been together over 9 years! Well today his friend sold bulls tickets (the 2 of them were gonna go together) and I asked who he sold them too! Again he is going off on me!?!? WTF it was just a question! He has been going out every night he has off & comes home with a huge attitude! Its really bugging me all we do is fight lately! He tells me to butt out & its his business not mine!! I am really hurt by all of this!

I dont know how to handle me!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Mar. 25, 2010 in About CafeMom

Answers (7)
  • I think he may be afraid of actually getting married. Attatchment issues?

    Answer by Ashleigh_17 at 8:29 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • He is showing his anxiety about the commitment of marriage. Or he is having stress at work. Or he wants to turn you off from the idea of marriage, he feels that he is being pressured into it. It doesn't sound as though this is a person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:30 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • as crazy as this sounds...TALK TO HIM. dont bring it up in the heat of an argument. just tell him he has been really testy lately and if there is anything he would like to talk about you would like to. you have every right to be questioning why he is doing this. i wouldnt want to marry a man that every time i asked a question he bit my head off.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • all of this just started recently....he was never like this before & he is the one who wanted to get married! I know he has a lot of stuff going on at work & its stressing him out! His boss is a jerk & giving him a hard time about the time off he asked for (the wedding). We have 2 kids and we love each other very much! I just cant figure him out lately!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • He is probably just stressed out. Even though you don't intend to be nosey asking these questions, just don't ask them. Or word them differently so he can't misconstrue it as being nosey and/or nagging. My husband is the same way. I can say 2 words to him and he will just be like "Fine! Whatever!", I've just learned to let him have some down time when he comes home from work. If something does bug me and I can't let it go, I just bring it up in bed. We actually have most of our conversations in bed. The kids are in bed and we are both relaxed enough to talk.

    Answer by clhadley at 8:43 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • I'd hold off on the marriage, and see a marital counselor. It helped me and my DH wonders.

    Communication is key, and if he can't do that, especially if he's rude about it... IT WONT get any easier when you're married.

    Ask him if he's willing to see a counselor to help learn some communication skills that will better the marriage.

    Good luck, I'm sorry that'd be hard..

    Answer by Skepticchick at 8:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • When my husband gets persnickety I let him calm down and then go "Honey, I love you, don't get me wrong, but there is something I need to say. I don't want you to forget that I love you, but..." and then he doesn't feel like I am attacking him (which is never my intention anyways). Maybe you could tell your husband you would just like to know, and that you aren't trying to keep tabs on him. Perhaps he is worried about commitment, perhaps he is not. You'll never really know until you ask though.

    Answer by OmbreGracieuse at 11:15 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

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