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A question for bi or bicurious women...I find myself shying away from building friendships with attractive women. Have you had this problem?

Back story...I am bisexual but I'm married and committed. My husband and I seperated for a minute 2 years ago because we thought we wanted to have a threesome, but I ended up falling for her and got confused. I'm not trying to go down that road again. I love DH and truly want to be with him for life. But now I shy away from befriending attractive women because I'm afraid of the temptation. Its very frustrating. Am I alone?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Mar. 25, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • You're not alone! I', bi-curious myself and I've had one threesome..back years ago. I want another one! I just don't know anyone, nor am I the kind of person to trust anyone on line. My SO doesn't know I feel like this and would consider it cheating if I did! I'm in the boat that I want some girl action but don't know how or where to find them!!

    I'm afraid if I'm friends with a hot girl I will want them..knowing they aren't bi! Or even curious!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

  • threesomes do tend to drive you apart for the longest time we were going to do another one well things got complicated because me and her had full action one night which DH was perfectly fine with well the thing that made it go bad was that i got jealous and didnt want to share and we got in a fight and needless to say we are no longer friends with that girl which she was my best friend. so much for that i really dnt want to have to go through that agn but i do still like the girl action. but gud luck on working it out because as far as i knw the feeling probably wont go away it still hasnt for me and ive been bi curious for a long time i cant help but like men and women thats just how i feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Ancient Chinese proverb: "You don't marry a woman just because she's attractive, that would be like buying a house because you liked the paint." I'm bi and am quite comfortable around attractive women. I consider them "eye candy." LOL. However, experience has taught me to look for the beauty within, more so than the exterior.  It's difficult, but not impossible, to close Pandora's box once opened. You never slip and fall on having sex with someone. You make a conscious decision. The real question is: Are you content with a heterosexual relationship?

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 4:59 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I refuse to have a threesome and this is one of the reasons why. Though no I don't shy away from relationships with attractive woman. All my friends are attractive in my mind. I judge looks off of personality I don't pay attention to weight exc. Kinda like Shallow hal in the movie after the spell. Any way. I am upfront about my sexual orientation and let them know it shows more when I drink. I also tell them to let me know if I ever make them uncomfortable. However if I couldn't control my urges I would avoid them. I don't allow temptation like that in my life. So if that it what you have to do then do it. GOOD LUCK>
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 5:59 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • OP...these are good answers so thanks ladies. I don't know, I guess Its just something I have to deal with for the rest of my life. Am I comfortable being heterosexual the rest of my life? I don't know how to answer that. At times I would love to get drunk, give in and just really enjoy a woman...even with my husband around. On the other hand its the pain it causes that stops me.
    Anyways, thank you ladies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • To OP: I understand your feelings and perhaps you should consider doing as I did, joining a Lesbian/Bi support group? Would you believe that in the Lesbian group, Bi's are not very well liked? They believe we are confused and transmit diseases. I've yet to find a Bi group, in my new city. In the meanwhile, I too squash my feelings and walk away from any attractions. I've chosen abstinence. Hasn't solved my dilemma, like yours. I know that I deeply resent a man wanting to enjoy the benefits, without doing the work or assuming the responsibility. also have religious beliefs that conflict with my feelings. It is a pain that I've endured for years. Don't use getting drunk as an excuse. Self acceptance is the key. Last, consider getting a sexual therapist to ease your pain without causing further injury or harm to your marriage.For years, I've wished I never opened Pan

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 12:42 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • (Cont'd)
    dora's box. Any time, you have sex (more than 2x) with a person: feelings and emotions are gonna become involved. We, as women often have a hard time separating love, intimacy and sex. Therefore, as a married woman, it's best to remove (run) yourself from such distractions. Meditation also allows you to free the mind, explore the dimensions of self and find your inner physician. Feel free to write me. I admire your courage to be honest with self, be open-minded and seek answers. Good luck!
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 12:47 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

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