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Not sure what too do!!

Im 22 and dh is 21 we have been together for 5 yrs have a 2 yr old son, been married for almost 2 yrs
Well these past few months i feel like my hubby has been really mean! He will go out to the bars or do what he wants and not care about my feelings i want to go to my gmas house for easter and he will not go! Anytime i want to do something he will not do it with me! But when he wants a ride to the bar or something wants me to jump up and go right now! Im a sahm and he works mon-fri and he is a hell of a worker but the weekends he drinks never see him without it! If i get upset and start to cry he tells me to shut the hell up and quit acting like a baby and if i try to talk to him about anything he thinks im trying to fight and will threaten to leave
So i tell him to go if he doesnt want to spend time with me or his son! And most of the time he goes and starts drinking and i will have no clue when he will be home
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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Mar. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • it wasnt like this before yea he did drink before we got married and did get into some trouble bc of drinking! But now i feel like he doesnt love me and cares more about achol than his family! Im so hurt! He has told me he will quit paying the bills and keep our son from me and i can leave! I work my butt off to keep him happy even giving him back massages for hrs before he goes to bed b/c he cant sleep i keep the house clean and supper is ready when he gets home! Im pretty much a single mom he has never even changed a diaper! He tells me he will do what he wants i dont care if he goes out but not all the fin time i wish he would spend time being with me and his son... dont know if i should leave or not!! worried he will get custody bc i dont work! i love him with all my heart but i feel like i am the one putting 100% in our marrage and he isnt even trying!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • This is the honest truth, men need there wifes to be the strong one in the relationship almost as if they were babys. I know it sounds wiered but maybe you should start standing up for your self in a healthy way. Sounds like you have let him run you over a little too long now.Dinner so would not be made and he would start changing diapers if he never has befor and he would start to help around the house because you do have a full time job as well. That was your big mistake is letting him take advantage of you for so long but men dont want a women that handle her self they really want someone that can hold her own and tell them when there screwing up and not put up with it. Another thing why would you go and have a child with a man who has a drinking problem? Im not being rude but just dont understand that because your putting you and your child in a bad spot.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 2:14 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Sorry I ment to say that men dont want a women that cand handle her self.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 2:16 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • because he use to not be nothing like this he would drink a little but as soon as we had our son he changed for the worse:(
    i would of never had a child or married someone that had a drinking problem but i know he does now! He has changed so much thats why im so upset! dont know what to do! I love him and our son with my whole heart and feeling like u are nothing to someone u love is awful!
    have no clue what to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • He is young and is feeling trapped, with all the responsibility of marriage and kids. He never had a single life. You two got together when you two where teens.  You might want to think about that, and ask him about it.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:52 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • You stand up for yourself and don't bring him to the bar and honey if he leaves what's the differeance he is never home anyways. He will not get custody of your LO. He sounds like he doesn't give two shits about you or the baby stop being he's maid he isn't the gosh darn king.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I agree with louise2. It's somehow easier for us, or we're more mature, but it's different for women when we have kids. We grow up fast and we just jump into the role of wife and mom. Men, some men, can't handle it as we do. Talk to him while you are both calm and try to get down to the bottom of why he is acting like this. I'm sure there is a happy medium where he can still have his freedom and still be a great husband. He is not being fair to you. It stinks but men do take longer to mature. You just have to figure out if this one is worth the effort and worth waiting for. Also, do you REALLY think he would try to take full custody of your son???? That would cut too much in to his bar time! Don't believe his threat. Not to mention the judge would NOT allow it.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:20 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

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