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Hubby is pissed!

Last night the neighbor dropped by to visit and was talking about finding a home to buy. Hubby advised her just to get out and look around and that's how you usually find the best deals, which i totally agree with and said so. Then the neighbor mention that she wanted to check on a property that although wasn't formally for sale, she wanted to speak to the owner and see if they would be interested. Hubby told her not to waste her time, it wasn't for sale. Well, he doesn't know this for a fact and it seemed to me that first he was telling to get out and look around and then when she said she was going to do just that, he told her not to bother. Sounded contradictory to me and I made the god-awful mistake of saying so. I didn't think I said in an ugly way and the neighbor is not the sharpest tool in the shed and she was looking a little confused. As soon as she left, he tore into me and said I never take his side and I "cont"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Mar. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • Con't - shouldn't contradict him in front of people. And it went down hill from there....Told him he didn't have the right to tell me what I can and can't say. I also apologized for sounding mean (which I don't think I did). Hubby is very derogatory when talking to people who he doesn't see as being responsible or smart enough to take care of their business and I don't think he can hear himself. I see peoples' faces sometimes and just cringe. I don't guess there is really a question here...just a vent....He went to bed pissed and got up that way too....I'm two steps from being out the door...Thanks for the sounding board!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Man I am sorry to hear that I bet he can make you feel like shit, I know my dh when he gets into his moods he can make me feel really bad :(
    He could be talking and I'll put in my 2 cents and he'll say "Was I talking to you" I am like huh? Yes he makes me feel stupid and when I tell him he starts to yell even more and by this time I get so mad and frustrated I am actually crying talking to him I guess bc I got my feelings hurt and really don't like him yelling at me then I gather myself together and let it go it is not worth but I can tell you this much "This is the way those jerks are"...lol but we love them so much no matter what...right! GL Just hang in there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • First, I think your dh went WAAAYYYY overboard.

    Though honestly though, I don't think what he said is a contradiction - just that he probably didn't express it very well. You can drive around and see for sale signs, for sale by owner, etc, and see whats out there and stuff, and that can be a good idea. But you can't just randomly go up to houses that you like and ask the owners if they might want to sell it. Well, you could, but it's not going to do any good and it could cause you some problems.

    BUT - like I said, from the sounds of it, your dh went WAY overboard with how he went off on you about it. Even IF he felt that you always contradict him (not saying you do or don't) - there's MUCH better ways of addressing it than going off on you like that!!!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:14 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • why would your neighbor ask someone if their house is for sale when its not? Sounds kinda dumb..."um, can i buy your house" Maybe your dh was saving her from looking like an idiot
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:15 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I have found that people who feel they HAVE to "save" people from looking stupid have a huge need to be the smart one or to be right all the time because it boosts their own self worth. THATS why he was mad, because God forbid you didnt say he was a genius....some people are like that. Be careful because this guy sounds like his ego could cause him to become verbally abusive very easily and make no mistake-verbal abuse is still abuse. he was wrong to act that way, he could have handled it alot more maturely.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:20 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • i don't think he had any right to go off on you by the way =) and its kinda stupid for him to still be mad about it the next morning
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:23 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Oh wow, how immature and just plain old stupid. I'd apologise for making him feel bad (or whatever) then I would let it go and if he wouldn't I'd tell him to get over it.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:32 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • OP - The property she was going to ask about is just land, no house and there is a possibility the owner's would sell. (There is a history there). We live in a rural area and sometimes that's the only way to find out about property. This is not the first time this has happened where I've said the "wrong" thing just because I don't agree with him and I'm getting really tired of his tirades. If I'm wrong about something, I expect to be corrected. He, on the other hand, gets so offended. I've learned to censor my comments, but sometimes I forget like last night and end up paying the price. Geez... guys sure suck sometimes!!
    marshalynn67

    Answer by marshalynn67 at 9:39 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • i would tell him that you are entitled to an opinion the same as he is and if he does not want to hear it than he can go in the other room and pout. I would SOOOO put him in his place...real quick!
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:47 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I don't always agree with what my husband says but I won't point it out in front of other people. I can image he was embarrassed.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:56 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

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