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Why do people blame...

Their faiths or lack there of for their failed marriage...I believe that all religions say take self responsibility.
Society for the concept of right and wrong... Sorry I thought that was common sense.
Entertainment for their kids bad behaviour... I know that is called parenting.
Criminal behaviour on upbringing and mental issues... Last I heard that was lack of judgement.

What do you think and does it not just make you step back and say holy cow get a grip... Sorry couldn't help it.

 
hot-mama86

Asked by hot-mama86 at 11:35 AM on Mar. 26, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I don't understand anyone who blames those problems on anyone not directly in them - if there's a problem in a marriage the problem lies in the two spouses. Nobody can be forced to cheat, they have to make a conscious decision to do so first. If a child can't behave either he hasn't been parented properly or there is something diagnosable that makes it difficult or impossible for him to understand right or wrong (and if he is diagnosable, he didn't catch it from tv, music or video games). That extends to an adult criminal - they either have a mental defect that prevents them from knowing right from wrong or they make the conscious decision.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • People are going to blame anything other than themselves, generally speaking. However, our concept of morality is based on society. Things that are considered fine in the US might not be in another country. Social mores are based on the culture a person is born into, and/or lives in. Not placing blame so much as stating fact.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:39 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • No idea. I agree with you.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:40 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • * Ginger0104

    I'm sorry I meant more that it is pure common sense killing exc. is wrong. Yet if it isn't yet written and some one does something dumb they say oh well no body told me. Come on it's common sense. I'm not arguing just clarifying my meaning.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 11:51 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • If something is wrong in my marriage, it has to do with the people in it, not my Gods.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 12:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Religion has nothing to due with failed marriages unless you focus on it instead of the actual problems. And I'm sorry but to those who are blaming their failed marriages on S.O. lack of having a religious figure as the center of their life. NO. That's not the reason unless you're willin gto blame yourself for having an affair with that same figure. Relationships are work that take investment from both parties. Physical, emotional, etc. If you have all your emotions wrapped up in your God the only one you have to blame for your failed marriage is YOU. I feel badly for the neglected spouses in these cases.

    Just put your religious beliefs on the backburner for once and TALK to your spouse about the problems in your marriage WITHOUT mention of religion. You'll get a whole lot farther and maybe even rediscover the person you married.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:31 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • The reason you dont understand is possibly the lack of understanding of Covenant. When a covenant is broke... things tend to go wrong. The covenant in my marriage failed... everything else followed suit. We tried to work it out but to no avail. Yes it had to do with people... their choices. I made bad choices and so did he. When Christ is no longer involved and you make all decision based on self... there is room for disaster. I continue to go to Christ for the answers in His word. I did what I could do and left the rest to Him. When disobedience to God's word about marriage in how to treat the wife continues... the marriage crumbles... when you do not submit to one another in love according to His word... marriage crumbles.... yes God has everything to do with it, leave Him out of the equation and you got problems. Why do you think there is such a high rate of divorce. Aparently here in Calif. over 50 percent cont
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 1:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • of marriages end up in divorce , the average lenghth is 3 yrs ( i have been married 22 ) and most people at the mediation orientation my soon to be ex went to were young people, 20's and 30's we are 45 and 51 .

    sad but a reality people do not want to work things out they see divorce as an easy way out, we chose to try.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 1:03 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Kristi that is why I started this post. The other was closed before that could fully be stated thanks.

    :

    * Shaneagle777

    I am sorry your marriage failed, but it's not religions fault, god's or the lack there of. It is the lack there of what ever was missing in your relationship, and if that was god than your marriage was with him and not your dh.
    My dh is atheist there for does not live for god or by his rules. He uses common sens and intelligence. God is no where in my marriage. Sorry I don't do three some. My relationship only has two people maybe the additional of the third is the cause of the high rates in divorce.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • of marriages end up in divorce , the average lenghth is 3 yrs ( i have been married 22 ) and most people at the mediation orientation my soon to be ex went to were young people, 20's and 30's we are 45 and 51 .

    So wait a minute it sounds like your dh cheated on you or left you for some one younger. That doesn't sound like an issue with faith it sounds like a mid life crisis. Common really. My four year could get that one how is it god's fault your dh has issues.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:17 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

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