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Does your husband yell at you? In a fight or otherwise...

I see post on here all the time where women desrcibe their husbands yelling at them or talk about screaming matches between the two of them but then talk about how much they love each other and how "normal" they are.

I don't really get it I guess. If that's normal I'm glad we're abnormal!

We've been together 5 years. My DH has NEVER raised his voice to me. I'm not saying we've never disagreed because we have. There have been REALLY strong disagreements but never yelling.

I was be SO upset and disrespected if my DH yelled at me and I know he would feel the same way.

Does your DH yell at you? Is this really the norm?

If it is I think that's sad.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Mar. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • No, he doesn't yell at me. His voice will occasionally get a little louder, but so will mine. But it's not yelling. It's more like when you raise your voice a bit to be heard over a loud machine or something, and even that doesn't generally happen. We have our disagreements, but we both feel it's very important to respect each other and we try very hard to remember that even if we are angry at the moment. Now, when I was married before, yelling and screaming was the only way my ex ever heard me, and of course, he would yell and scream back. But there were a lot of other problems in that marriage, and I feel that the yelling and screaming were really just a symptom of our other issues. I think a lot of people do tend to yell, I think a lot of them just have this idea that that's how you express anger or frustration. That was what I thought when I was with my ex. I've learned differently this time around.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:45 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • No! My husband never yells at me! In fact, if my husband yelled at me I would probably tell him he better step away until he could talk to me like somebody, lol. I got out of an abusive relationship about 2 years ago, where I was yelled at and emotionally abused on a regular basis. Now, there is no way. To me, one of the first things you have to have in a relationship is respect for each other, and each others feelings. Yelling isn't respectful from anyone on any level. So, no, we don't yell.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:47 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • No, he doesn't yell at me. We've had some heated discussions but he doesn't yell. We're best friends, and you don't treat your best friend like that, at least IMO.
    I think yelling and screaming is very immature and doesn't solve anything. There are some things you can't take back when you're that angry... I grew out of throwing a fit yrs ago when I was little... I agree, it is sad.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • When I was with my ex, yelling was normal behavior for us. But there were many other issues going on with us that resorted to the yelling.
    With my current SO we talk things out instead of yell. Now we have raised our voices in anger but when we notice either ourselves or the other doing it we say something and bring our voices down. He's helped me find a healthier way to express my anger instead of yelling and losing my voice.

    Answer by NikLvsNick at 11:59 AM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • We've had our moment where we're yelling at one another.
    That doesn't mean we don't respect one another. That doesn't mean we hate one another. It just means we're that mad.
    You can love someone and still raise your voice at them. I'm sure you've raised your voice at your kids, but you still love them, right? We don't yell all the time, just when a touchy subject gets crossed and it blows up. It happens.

    I'm glad you and your husband don't yell at one another. I'm sure that makes for a very peaceful environment. However, that doesn't mean we don't love each other, because we don't handle situations like you guys do.

    Normally DH and I talk things out, but like I said, when certain subjects come up it can lead to a loud argument. We always come together later or the next day and talk it out though.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:09 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • He very rarely yells at me. And often times when he does, I yelled first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • If he yells at me it is because I am yelling. I am loud by nature and when I am upset it is even worse so if he yells it is to get my attention and get me to knock my volume down a few notches.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 12:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Never. It's one of the things I love about him, he's a thinker. We don't really fight because he takes everything I say (and he says) and takes his time digesting it, before coming up with a reply. He never gets heated and responds emotionally... it's wonderful.

    (I'm flighty and emotional, I HAVE to have someone to balance me, lol!)

    Answer by coffee.crisp at 1:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • He has never yelled at me. We have raised our voices before and he usually has to get very angry to raise his voice at me. When I am having my weird moods and trying to pick a fight, he usually ignores me until I calm down, unless I keep pushing his buttons. I could never be with someone who yelled at me on a regular basis.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • We rarely fight but when we do he still stays fairly calm. I am usually the first one to yell but we do not attack each other (except with the "oh yes because you are ALWAYS right." or "you're SOOOO perfect" that is about as far as the attacks go.

    Answer by kc932 at 2:23 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

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