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do you tell someone's spouse that you know for a fact their cheating on them?

ok well this guy friend i have has always had the hots for me. but he is definatly not my time and kind of weird i keep my distance if i do go anywhere to meet him for lunch i let my hubby know. Anway this friend of mine has seriously cheated on his wife has even taken pictures of the incident the first time around. His wife wouldnt be able to find them inless she knew his password and user name for his network server thing. hes asked me if i wanted to see pics no thanks (barf). Well that was a year ago, and now this week hes gone out with another girl get some.
I consider his wife as a dear friend and really want to tell her, she doesnt deserve to go though with that. i have been there.
Would you tell your friend that their spouse is cheating on them or would wait for it to catch up years later behind her back? to me a marriage isnt meant for that so im confused on wha tto do

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Mar. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • That's hard, because you'll surely loose one of them,or one will be upset with you for telling on him...

    I think she deserves to know. I know I'd want to know if my hubby were messing around on me.

    Have you tried talking to him saying hey this isn't right, what you're doing to your wife. Ask him if he wants others why doesn't he just leave his wife?

    If you do decide to not say anything... I recommend you ask him to stop telling you about it, because it puts you in an bad position. With him and his wife.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 1:32 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • a lot of wives will not accept the truth and will believe the husband and be mad at you

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Hummm, sometimes you open your mouth and you might loose a friend.

    She has to see it with her own eyes, you telling her could hurt yours and her relationship. Woman tend to protect there family and some times they are so in love they don't realize they hurt the one that love them the most.

    If you want to risk it, and maybe loose your friend for a while then you bring it too her attention. If you are real friends no matter what you will not hate her for being upset with you if her man is cheating you love her enough to forgive her if she does get mad at you.

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I had a good friend of mine whom we thought was cheating on her husband, during a girls night out I drove and couldn't leave because she was too busy talking to other guys my husband got upsent and told her husband (who was also good friends with him). Well it ruined our friendship, we are no longer friends because of the events that took place after my hubby opened his mouth. I figured something I told my hubby was between him and I but he was upset that I couldn't come home because of her and acted on that where it truly wasn't our concern. I would stay out of it if you treasure the friendship but you are stuck in a hard spot, good luck

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:39 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • wait until she brings it up. i have a friend whos husband hit on me a year ago and sent nude pics and ask some of me, i blocked him and changed my email, he managed to find me on freecylce when i posted items then started textin me...a couple of weeks later the friend posted a status of how she hates when her husband talks to other woman online... i commented on there yeah it sux. then her husband posted when do i have time to chat with other women..i commented well you seem to have time to stalk me on freecycle..oh by the way dont f**ing add me either, i thought she knew he had texted me that one day...then when she asked i told her what he had done and told her i knew of other women he was seeing and have come down to his shop for sex...she had suspicions but no one had enough guts to tell her

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • I think I would tell your 'friend' that he has until the end of the month to come clean with his wife or you are telling her. This 'friend' sounds like the biggest a-hole on the planet, really have no idea why you would be friends with a person like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • its just very tough. i know he has one of those adult finder things, hes told me about it. i asked him well how do you keep it from ur wife. he goes well i am in charge of all the bills she doesnt see any of the statements. sigh. this is his 3rd marriage unsure what happend the first 2 times. The first time he played around she was on vaction out of state to her sisters, he makes sure he cant go to hook up. I have told him do you not realize what a marriage vow is for and he just says well she doesnt put out just has me use novelites. im like well thanks for the TMI but regardless you had taken teh vow for a reason you just cant turn around and screw around. if it was my husband id kill him (not literally but id sure take him for everything hes got plus some). its just horriable. i feel so bad for her and tell him how stupid he is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Just talk about cheating in general and if you would want to know if your man was cheating or not. That opens the line of communication. She may tell you that she knows her's is cheating. Many wives know but turn their back as long as he comes home and takes care of them. I know a lot of women like that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • If someone knew my husband cheated and didn't tell me, I'd be pissed.
    Also, you wouldnt be in this position if you didn't have such a close friendship with a married man, when you are a married woman. THAT is also inappropriate, and puts you in the position where she will think YOU are the "other woman" so you are screwed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

  • Sounds like you may not care to lose the guy friend since he makes you kinda ill, but you may not want to lose the lady friend. In that case, I'd tell her. You'd lose either one so weigh it out and see who's the friendship you want to keep. Best wishes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2010

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