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how should we deal with the in-laws?

my hubbys in-laws, except for his grandmother dispise me (its not an assumption, theyve told me and him) and we want to have another baby. well, his mother posted on my facebook, "havent u done enough to him? u only want another one for the check, ur a horrible mother, etc etc. (yup, right where everyone could see it) and his dad called me and told me to file for divorce and child support and stay away from his son, and theyd been tryin since wed been together for about 9 months to keep me away from him and break us up. hes told them not to talk about me anymore, but they keep constantly (mostly the mother) going on and on and its stressing him out..any suggestions on how to deal with them?? theyre tearing us apart with the constant stress...

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ChRiStIaNs_M0M

Asked by ChRiStIaNs_M0M at 7:42 AM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • If that were my family I would tell them you can either RESPECT my so and my love for my so or we can cut ties. When you get married, it becomes about you and the person you marry....not the parents.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:45 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • block them from ur facebook first thing.
    i can imagine how horribly difficult it must be to ignore them but u gotta learn to do that. and tell ur husband that you dont want to discuss them or what they do. the reason i say ignore them is because they are going at you with the intention of hurting your relationship and if ur relationship does go downhill then they win AND YOU CANT LET THEM WIN. also if they realise that what they are doing is NOT AFFECTING YOU then they will get bored and eventually stop.
    so sorry for what you are going through though... hope it works out okay and best of luck planning the new baby.
    happymum2010

    Answer by happymum2010 at 8:16 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Do you know why they feel this way about you? Not that I'm taking their side or anything, but I'm just wondering why they have so much hatred for you. Most people don't have that kind of hostility just for the hell or just. Maybe you did something wrong and you don't even know it? But anyways...like the previous poster said, I would cut off all contact with them. Delete them off facebook, don't answer their phone calls or e-mails, and see if DH would be willing to do the same. If he really loves and wants to be with, then maybe him giving his parents the silent treatment for awhile will teach them a lesson.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • they blame me for all the mistakes hes made, all the times hes got mad with then they say that i "made" him cuss em out or whatever. when we didnt have any money they blamed me, and they blamed me for ruining his life by "getting pregnant on purpose" (i didnt by the way) but they believe that i got pregnant on purpose because i was completely incapable of keeping him without a child, and a child wouldnt make him HAVE to stay anyway. theyre just dilusional and my husband or i do not understand it, and we dont care what their reasons are. cuz basically i guess its cuz people want to blame everybody but their own family. so i guess thats what it is....
    ChRiStIaNs_M0M

    Answer by ChRiStIaNs_M0M at 9:48 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I am so sorry that they have treated you so horribly. I was also in a similar situation. My inlaws were so bad we were constantly fighting. Well my husband joined the army. I swear, we both agree it was the best decision we have made. We do visit, but we dont have them constantly in our face all the time.

    They were so bad when we got married, they caused a huge problem, and we ended up not getting married, we got married a week later at the courthouse with my mom and his little sister there. We just came back from a 2 week visit. It was nice to see family, but there of course was problems. And we were glad to come home.

    I know I always felt like my husband was taking their side. Well, now there are no sides. It is sad, but we are happy. We havent had once fight since we moved. Not one. I wish you the best. I guess my best advice would be cut them out if they refuse to be civil or move. Dont let them be in control.
    Sillybillymel

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 9:58 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Wow. They are really hostile huh? I thought I had it bad! Guess not. If you really didn't do anything wrong to them then first delete them and block them from your Facebook. They cant find you or even see or read your profile or comments that way. Have a talk with your husband. Does he defend you when they act that way? If not, I'd re think having another baby right now and focus on my marriage first. Another baby won't solve any issues.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • My mom put up with that from my dads mom and it was bad to the point when she would come out she would lock my mom out of the house. She would say racist things to my mom and because my dad is half black and Cherokee and mom is white it came down to her cutting ties after my father only went to see his family at holidays. It takes some of the pressure off if you create your own life outside of them.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I dont deal with my husbands parents and either does he cause we simply just dont have too. My mother inlaw passed away befor I could even meet her and I wish everyday she was here for my husband and to see her grandbaby but instead all I have is step mother inlaw which I do not consider her to be that but what else am I going to label her as. She just has issues and Im not going to deal with it so we hardly ever see his dad any more. Its amazing how my father inlaw would come around for the first yr of our sons life and then once we move closer to him his wife has a problem with us taking too much time away from her and her girls he just disapears. He litterally lives 15 min. away or less and we maybe see him once every 2 months.How sad that he does that to his son and grandson but hes the one missing out. I say just cut them off if there causing that many problems, its actually pretty easy.
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

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