Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ignoring me for another girl...

My husband goes on facebook a lot, we both have a facebook and we know each others passwords. He has been adding girls he doesnt know and yesterday flat out ignored me because he was chatting with a girl on there. Not once but twice! I told him the first time it really bothered me, we went 2 the store he said sorry, I was still a little upset but alright. Then he went and did the same thing again, and told the girl I was mad he was talking to her!! I dont know what to do, we disagree a lot and I feel like he gives others the best of him while I get the worst. I get to cook and clean and make sure he gets to and from work, always makes sure he has what he wants and needs! I dont know if I am over reacting or if I have a right to be mad! I know the trust isnt that great in that area because he cheated on me last year 3 months before we were getting married! But I just dont know...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • So when did you find out he messed around on you? Before or after you married him?

    Answer by louise2 at 1:45 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • OP- He cheated before we got married, and I truly believe that he was sorry for what he did. And we agreed to work things out but I know I dont have the same trust. He cheated for 2 months, and I had no idea until he finally told me. So I guess I am trying to keep myself from getting hurt again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • He cheated for two months!?!?!?!
    If it had been a one time slip up then that would be one thing but he had a full on affair!

    My(soon to be ex) husband and I have/had the exact same internet/girls problems. He would constantly apologize and promise to stop and then he'd be right back at it.
    I stupidly kept believing his promises and kept getting hurt.
    4 years later the SAME shit is going on and now we're getting a divorce because I felt that he valued these other girls more than he valued me.
    If he truly loved and respected me then he would have stopped the first time I asked him to and told him how it made me feel.
    He didn't.
    He wont ever.
    I know that now.

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:57 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Yeah sorry but men like that aren't going to change, I would NOT have married him after he cheated, he will not be faithfull. First, no offense to some people with facebook, but facebook is for kids, married men and women who have facebook with opposite sex friends they don't really know is just asking for trouble. If you have facebook and use it to stay updated with IRL friends and family that's fine, but to have it to boy sniff or girl sniff is just so immature.

    Let me tell you about a similiar situation. My now ex-husband cheated on me while we were married. We tried counseling and I stayed for our son. We moved to a small town so he could go back to school. But he started acting like a college co-ed making friends with 18 year old females....he was 33 at the time. At one point my son and I moved back home for money reasons but we would come and visit every 6 weeks or so....

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 2:04 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • it wasn't cheating before you got married. he was making sure he wanted to commit to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • and one visit on the way back to the apartment he stopped at a gas station saying he wanted to go visit one of these 18 year old girls who worked there. I said "Absolutely not, it's inappropriate for a married 33 year old man to leave his wife and baby in the car to visit an 18 year old girl" and I made him keep going. That evening I caught him on his laptop sending this girl an e-mail saying "I'm sorry I didn't stop by, my bitch of a wife wouldn't let me"

    The freaking nerve!!! And yep I filed for divorce shortly after that. Some men are just jerks and will never change. Your husbands behavior is inappropriate and I would tell him that you both need to cancel your facebook accounts and stop such nonsence if he wants to remain married.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 2:06 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Now let me say this, I love having Facebook. I can keep up with a whole bunch of old friend, family that I don't get to see and a bunch of people I met while I was in the Navy. However, I never accept a friend request from someone I don't know. I don't see the point. I don't care about what's going on in some random person's life.

    What your husband is doing is wrong. I have no problem with my husband chatting with his female friend on there, but they are all people he's known and they are actual FRIENDS. I think anything else is ridiculous and wrong. And yeah, he's probably looking to cheat on you again because he knows he can get you to just brush it off since you did before. My husband cheated on me ONCE and he felt so horrible about it that he made himself physically sick. Since then, he's conformed to every boundary I've given him and never strayed. Your man sounds like he's taking advantage of you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I'm sorry I will NEVER understand why women stay with a man that has cheated on them and then are shocked when it looks like he is going to do it again.

    Answer by awelling at 2:19 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • "it wasn't cheating before you got married. he was making sure he wanted to commit to you. "

    Are you kidding me??? Please tell me this is a joke.

    Answer by Laila-May at 2:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • And you married him anyways ..... After you knew he cheated . I don't get it start a saftey fund with spare money . And print out the emails and coversations and leave them at your moms house or a friends house ... And start looking for a good divorce attorney because eventually he will cheat and you should be ready!!!!!

    Answer by abbyg at 3:24 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.