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Is this something I should keep from my 6yr old???

Recently we found out that my SIL was hit by her husband. (Not the only time) She has decided to leave him & get a divorce. We have to tell my 6yr old that they will no longer be married & he will ask why. I dont wanna go into details about their problems for the issues are not important, but, Im struggling w/if we should tell him that his Aunt was hit by a man or not. We are trying to teach him that men do not hit women and this might be a really good scenerio for him to learn from. However, is he too young to hear what happened? What do you think???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • Do NOT tell him. He's far too young to be exposed to that info. Just say sometimes adults cannot work out their disagreements. I wouldn't explain further. JMO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I think it depends on your child and how you raise them. If it were me and my children, i would answer them straight forward. I wouldn't hide it. Besides, at 6 years old he's old enough to pick up on things that you might think he's not paying attention to. He'll know, or he'll have some kind of idea of what happened sooner or later. Personally, i'd rather have him know the truth from me and have it be a learning experience then have him hear it from family members or while he's ease dropping or any other number of ways kids find out things.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:51 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I think he's plenty old enough to know that it is because the man was very cruel to his aunt, and that wasn't right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • It's probably a good time to explain how it's not right and that it is important to tell somebody if you know this kind of thing is happening. Too many tragedies could have been prevented if somebody would have told. Teach you son to speak up! Then he'll know what to do if he's ever in a tough spot!
    brookebella

    Answer by brookebella at 4:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • That isn't your place to tell him that she was hit by her husband. That story should ONLY be told by the abused themselves. It isn't your story to tell anyone, only hers. When you tell your six year old that they're getting a divorce just let them know that they aren't happy together anymore. It's the truth.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • When my DS1 asks where his daddy is, I'm completely honest with him... we seperated 6 years ago, DS1 is almost 7... he used to see his sperm donor here and there, but spends the majority of his time in jail. I explain that sometimes people do bad things, that it doesnt make him a bad person, but there are just some things you dont do. I explain it like "You know when you hit your brother or have a temper tantrum we take away TV or send you to your room? Well, daddy took some things that didnt belong to him and when they decided to give him a second chance (parole) he didn't do like he was supposed to, so he had to go back to jail, which is kinda like grown up time out, but it lasts for a long time." He understands, and he knows that his dad isn't a "bad guy" (although I think differently) but is in trouble for doing bad things. Kids that age understand, and it helps them understand the way the world works.
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 5:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • First, I'd ask the aunt if it was ok with her to tell your son. Secondly, it depends on his level of maturity. If you think he can understand and handle it, by all means, tell him the truth.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 5:25 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I fully and wholeheartedly agree with Krysta622. Ask her permission and if you believe him to be mature and can handle knowing ....tell him.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • dont tell him just say they no longer love each other or something, i think he's to young to really understand the abusive part
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:43 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I think he's old enough to know that his "uncle" is not a nice man, and hurt his aunt and made her cry, but I don't think he's old enough to know he abused her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

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