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My God, I'm gonna end up losing them all!

My 16yo son is on the autistic spectrum, but he's high functioning. However, he has this know-it-all attitude that drives us up the nearest wall, and it's about to have some bad consequences. We're planning a trip up north (we live in the South) this summer, and my dh (not my kids' father) has already said that if this kid didn't straighten up that we're going to leave him here with my father. My father has already said that if my son acts up in HIS care that he'd take him to the police station. The way he acts up is general disrespect, back talking, and picking on his 14 yo sister and 11 yo brother. We have all kids in karate, but it hasn't taught him much for respect. I'm afraid that if my father has to take him to the police station that CPS will be called in and I'll lose them ALL b/c I can't handle them.

Can someone help me here? We seem to be the only ones to have problems with my kids.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I don't think CPS is going to take away kids just because they are mouthy or disrespectful. It might be helpful to find a different person to leave your son with so he won't be able to pester the other two and also so your dad doesn't have to deal with all of them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • OP here. There is NOBODY else to leave him with though. The bio dad lives in the truck he drives and is a general bad person anyway, which is why he's an ex. The ex promised my son all kinds of things when we were divorcing, but it was all lies. Yet my son still believes him and makes excuses for him even though he hasn't contacted the kids in over a year. The last time we talked to him was in August when the people he was staying with asked me to let the kids call him on his birthday, which I had planned on anyway.

    I don't know what to do, and I'm in a flat panic. We're planning to leave on this trip in June. My dh said that if my son hasn't straightened out that he will be left here as his mother can't handle the attitude and such.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • No offense but you sound a little paranoid. First, I highly doubt the police will do anything or say anything about your son talking back or being a brat. Seriously? And who would call CPS? The police would for REAL situations of abuse and neglect not for some bratty teenager. Tell your dad good luck with that and that you hope the police don't laugh in his face.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • OP here...yep, I'm paranoid all right. I've had dealings with CPS before, and I have reason to be paranoid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Your current husband sounds like a douche' and I can't believe any mother would let a man push her children out of her life which is exactly what he is doing. Some moms. GRRR! My mom chose a man over her child so, I am bitter. I admit it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Your "D"H is being an @$$. Plain and simple.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I have 2 teens - my ds turned 17 in Jan and my dd will be 16 in April. Neither of them have Autism, but I have some very good friends whose children do.

    Honestly, what you describe is a teen thing - maybe compounded by the Autism, but as far as the "know it all attitude" and the general disrespect, and picking on siblings - is very normal. NOT that you should put up with it, but I think almost all teens do this to a certain extent.

    Don't put up with it, but choose your battles with it, and don't leave him behind. If, for example, he rolls his eyes, but he does what you told him, then fine, ignore the eye rolling, that sort of thing. Tell him if he wants to have any say in what you do on the trip, then he needs to be respectful (to a reasonable extent) to everyone else on the trip and what they want to do, too.

    gl!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:07 AM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Raising teens in itself is not easy but its not a catastrophy either. Tell you father to back the hell off. I did with my family and my DH's family as well. Everything you described is absolutely normal teenage behavior. If it came down to it, I would not go to my fathers for vacation. If your father and DH are an ass then don't go. Take your children somewhere without either one of them. Do not ever never ever put a man before your children, especially one with special needs. Come on mom Woman up
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 AM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • You all need to be in family therapy; there is a lot going on here.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:10 AM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Wow I cannot believe that you are going to let your DH who obviously does not understand teens or autism decide that your son is too much of a problem to take on vacation because his mother would not like the behavior. The only problem I see here is your DH. As rkoloms said some family therapy would benefit you all.
    If you leave your DS behind because of his autism you are telling him that something he has not control over makes him less of a family member.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 1:52 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

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