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Struggling Mom...

I have a 4 month old little girl and a 3.5 year old little boy. Our son has always been very dependent on us to play with him etc. I feel like our little girl is lacking the attention that her brother had at her age. We talk to her all day, snuggle with her, read books etc., but she does spend a great deal of time in her swing, bouncy seat etc. watching us play, make lunch etc. IS THIS WRONG? If not, why do I feel so darn guilty????

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Asked by TRooney at 7:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Aww dont feel bad. You love her right? thats all that truly matters,she is a diffrent kid and thats ok.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 7:14 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I have 3 kids (15, 13, 8) and there is ALWAYS some sort of guilt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • You are fine. She is fine. It's all ok. She just wants to feel loved and you are doing that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I felt that way when we had our 3rd child. Then I got a Moby wrap and now I babywear all the time. I love it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Put her in a baby carrier and get rid of the swings and seats. Spending time in seats hurts baby's development and can cause "container syndrome". I was a single mom with 3 kids and like the person above I wore my babies all the time. Babies aren't just fine if you leave them in seats and swings.

    When you have guilt or doubt there is a reason. You did the right thing to ask!

    Answer by Gailll at 8:44 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I agree, get rid of the swing and bouncy seats and get a carrier. Your baby will be right there in the action and you won't feel bad for leaving her places. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

    Answer by mommyof2grls06 at 10:46 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I can relate to you. I have a 5mo. old and a very needy 20 Mo. old. My first was just that my first. He had 100% of mommys attention. I read books with him, and revolved everything around him. But now that I have 2 kids my youngest does not get the same that my oldest got when he was a baby. BUT. My infant will never know if I read him a book today or not. My toddleris at an age where what I do does affect him. I still give attention to my infant but he does not have the same cards dealt that my first son did. It is just the way it is but the adjustment happens so early in life that it won't harm them so don't feel guilty.

    Answer by JackJacksMomma at 11:39 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Your infant might not know he's not getting attention 24/7, jackjacksmomma.. but his developing neurons do!!

    Get a moby wrap or a ring sling. Carry your baby with you all the time that you possibly can. Make dad get in on the act and wear baby around the house, too!! Your baby will develop faster and will develop better for it.

    Stop with the constant swing/bouncy etc. Limit it to 10 minutes each, twice per day. If she's spending more than 40 minutes in them it's WAY TOO MUCH TIME.

    It's tough being a mom to more than one, but, there is no reason to neglect her. Wear her. Have your hubby wear her. Have Grandma wear her when she comes to visit. etc. She'll be a more secure, loving, and intelligent person for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Get a sling or other carrier

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:00 AM on Mar. 28, 2010

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