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how can u get someone to "fall back in love" with you?

Me n my babys father broke up about a month ago. He tells me he loves me but hes not in love with me anymore and I gotta work to get that back. He said there is no one else that he wants to be with and we still live together and from what I know of there is no sign of ne other girl. Once in a while he will still say I love u and he still acts like we r together. I know I've made some mistakes but so has he. No one is perfect and it feels thats what he wants me to be before we get back together. I also found out that at Christmas time he wanted to purpose to me... I'm so lost and confused I want us to work and from the sounds of it he wants us to work to.. I just dont know what to do to make him "fall back in love with me" He said thats all its gonna take

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Be yourself and give it time. If he is the right guy it should work out, if he is not then move on!!

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 8:46 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Do some work on yourself, from the inside out, by yourself. Highly recommend reading Steve Harvey's "Act like a lady, think like a man." Guarantee that you'll find all the answers you need in that book.

    Answer by Ewadun at 8:51 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • He's right. It will take time but remind him that things are different from when you two met if there is a child involved. Roles have changed. You have had to grow up and give the child some of the attention you used to give him so it's hard to make him the focus of all your love now. Loving you isn't a bad thing. Being "in love" isn't all it's cracked up to be anyway. Just enjoy what he is sharing with you. Don't try so hard for anything else.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:51 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • "No one is perfect" is usually an excuse for your or another's behavior. It's a sign of immaturity - I can do whatever I want and then just say "no one is perfect".

    Your relationship sounds immature. You have a child together and live together yet you "broke up" a month ago. What does that mean? You were going steady? You have a kid together! Love, but not in love?

    You and your baby's father need to talk with a counselor or mediator or someone and figure out what you are going to do. You have a baby and decisions to make. If you don't have custody and support you need to take care of that.


    Answer by Gailll at 8:53 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • The love will never be the same. Too many things have changed. You two live together; you two have a child; you two are parents. What you have to do before is fix the major core of your problem. Fix that then maybe things can get better but falling in love like it was before. That will never happen. Using the excuse that no one is perfect is a cop out and not taking responsibility for your actions.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I'd get some counseling, but realize that it's not a guarentee. I spent way to long devoted to a man who did about the same thing you are descirbing- love you, but not in love with you, we'd go back and forth while I waited for him to come to his senses.
    The only one that really came to their senses was me- when I left him.
    I kept figuring that certain things would change. such as I thought that since he really loved me he would realize that he needed to quit smoking- for my health (bad asthma) as well as his.

    he's now living a life full of drugs, in a REALLY bad neighborhood, while I am living a good life in a place I had always wanted to me.

    Ironic note- I just read in the paper that he witnessed a murder that happened in the house next door- how did he notice it? he was on the front porch smoking a cigarette!

    It's up to you, but don't tell yourself that he's the only guy for you. The right guy will worship u and cont

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • anon 1011 cont- treat you well. Like my husband does!
    I thought for years that "we're human and you have to work on things" that is true, but if a guy isn't sure that he's crazy about you, I say he's just no good enough.
    You can go for counseling, but I'd get him out of the house and fast first off. That way you can think more clearly-
    if he wont' got for counseling, then forget it!
    I know it's hard, but don't waste years like I did-
    good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I can't stand the phrase "fallen out of love," love is a choice, not some vague, mysterious thing you can't control...what people are usually really saying is that they've fallen out of infatuation.

    ...Infatuation is harder to control, and in a normal, healthy relationship, infatuation does fade away...but in the relationships that last it's replaced by a true love that is much quieter (much less bells and whistles) but also much more profound and important.

    That true, more profound love, takes choices, work, and sacrifice on both sides.

    It sounds like you've been really vague with each other about your needs. It's time to get specific; "what I think would strengthen our relationship is...(fill in the blank with a specific action)."


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

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