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Sex question for married or long term relationships

ok, when i first met my husband we had sex all the time (anytime and where...etc lol) and i really enjoyed it!! best ever! now i am just not in the mood (but when we do have it, i like it and it feels good) He is starting to get upset (and i understand why he is and not mad that he is getting upset) and he is not feeling attactive and think thats why and thats not it at all. Why can i do to get the spice back in my sex life with my husband! i am hating it as much as he is.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Mar. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • First off, figure out why youre not in the mood anymore. Is it because of pregnancy? Breastfeeding? Stress? Even if you do not know, figure out what gets you in the mood... then use that and initiate sex with your husband. Lots of times they feel like women dont want them because they dont initiate sex. Try something new- a new position, new lube/toy, watch porn together during or before sex, try it in a new location, or even just get some new sexy underwear. Magazines like Cosmo always have an article about new things to try in bed, so invest in a copy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • for most women, life takes a toll on us. when we have kids, we basically have our "physical" needs met, we're touched all day, our kids hug and kiss us, ect. at the end of the day we're exhausted, we've had our physical needs met, while men need physical basically all the time, they don't get it at work, so they expect it when they get home. it's perfectly normal for you to be going through this, alot of couples go through a dry spell. make sure you sit down and talk with your spouse, let him know that it's not him, that you do find him attractive, it's just life is getting at you. we went through this as well, dh felt unnattractive. it's hard for them to wrap their head around the fact that it really ISN'T them, so it's gonna take some time. tips: buy lingerie, it should make you feel sexy and in the mood once you put it on. if you're not in the mood, maybe lay there looking sexy for dh while he gets off in front of you. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I think we all at one time or another felt the same way. I have been married 38 years and I keep it alive with a little imagination. I leave him little notes and make a date just for love making and in those notes, I give him a preview of what is to come, the anticipation does wonders. Use your imagination and triger what you already know he likes, be spontaneous and do things totally unexpected. Sometimes all we need to want it is relax and remember how good it is when it does, and serves as a stress releiver and emotional therapy, there is nothing more profound than that intimacy feeling that sharing a love making session leaves. Enjoy!

    Answer by older at 9:30 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • if you're for porn, right now i wouldn't recommend initiating it, especially through a dry spell. men can get easily hooked on it, and since you're going through a dry spell he'll watch it without you, whether you know or like it or not, and that can turn into an addiction if he looks at it too much. since you're going through a dry spell, this addiction can progress into emailing/chatting/texting someone for pictures, then meeting someone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • How's the foreplay and "warming up" time compare to the earlier stages of your relationship? Guys often start to skimp on that stuff when they feel more settled in the relationship.

    It's normal to need to remind a guy that a woman still needs all that hand-holding, and winking, and kissing, etc to get in the mood as easily as she used to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • I feel you. with my hubby 5 yrs and can't stand him or sex!

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:43 PM on Mar. 27, 2010

  • Talk to your doctor. It may just be a hormonal imbalance

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:54 PM on Mar. 27, 2010