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would this hurt your feelings?

Am I being too sensetive? I have 3 daughters ranging from ages 13-baby. Every since my first pregnancy my SIL and inlaws, but mostly SIL always say I hope its a boy, I hope your blessed with a boy, I feel like all I ever heard was boy boy boy. Now my other sister in law is preggo with their first and im still hearing things like I hope there blessed with a boy but I girl would be ok as well. I take this very personally like a boy is somehow better than a girl. Would you be offened and if so would you say something or keep quiet..just a side note SIL and I have a good relationship and she adores my girls

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I dont think they mean it in a rude way. Are they an old fashioned family? It just sounds like very traditional thinking. People look to have boys to carry on a family name, they use to want boys to help out on the farm, etc. Some of these old values are still around. I know my family doesn't do that. And I would be offended if they weren't happy for me and my children no matter the sex, but them just wanting a boy doesnt seem like something to be offended about. I would have just said when I was pregnant, that I would be happy with either sex or I am kind of hoping for a girl....or you could even ask them why they want a boy? I wouldn't make too big of a deal out of it at this point.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 2:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • You could be a little sensitive but I totally see what you are saying. I have a boy so people always assume I want my next to be a girl. Not everyone wants or needs to have both genders to feel complete for crying out loud! I would jusst respond by saying "I will be happy with whatever we are blessed with" or "Another girl would be great too." Make them feel like the ass!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:30 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • i think its rude, people should be happy with what sex they get not say "oh its a girl, i guess thats okay".
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I would try to not let it get to me because it doesn't appear that they're saying it to try and hurt you.
    I understand what you mean though, my feelings would probably be a little hurt by it too. I'm pretty sensitive and extremely protective of my kids.

    If it really is bothering you and you're close with your SIL then maybe ask her if she could tone it down a little bit because it's bothering you. Explain to her why and I'm sure she'll understand.

    Again though, try not to take it personally. I don't think they're being malicious. :)
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • When I was adopted they would pat me on the head and say stuff to my mom thank god you have two boys. I think people think because you have girls or boys you want the other gender next I have two boys or guys now and I want a girl but would be happy either way.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:41 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I have a boy so people always assume I want my next to be a girl.
    _______________________________
    Same here. And then they are surprised when I tell them I want another boy. And even more shocked by my desire to have at least 4 kids. At some point it seems society decided that 2kids is perfect for everyone, 1 boy, 1 girl. If you want something different, you are "crazy." I guess I'm crazy then. I am curious, though. Is this family dominated by women? Mine was until my son. I have 2 sisters. My older sister has 4 girls. So, a boy was a welcomed and highly anticipated change.
    brookebella

    Answer by brookebella at 1:41 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • OP here
    the family is not dominated by women
    3 brothers and 1 sister
    idk i have always felt that a boy was the desired sex with them all.
    i guess if sil and bil have a boy i will have to make sure my girls are still treated the same
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • They're just assuming you want a boy. Since they're your inlaws i'm assuming that they want a boy from your family to carry on the family name. lots of times the father's family is like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I have a friend whose family is all WOMEN... She miscarried her first child, she said god did it because he knew I couldnt handle boys... She doesnt want MALES in the family at all.... She also said her daughter better not have sons, because she wont be able to love or handle a male baby..... YEP somedays I wonder..
    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 2:07 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Sounds like my mom! Yes, it is rude and annoying! I called my mom from the ultrasound appt. so excited about baby #2 being a boy, she was like "ughhhh, we wanted a girl"...I was thinking..."HAVE ONE!". lol
    jalex

    Answer by jalex at 2:10 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

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