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So my SO has brought up that he is interested in doing something like this, but I was just wondering how many of you have done something like this, what your experience was and how did it effect your relationship?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I haven't and won't, it's not for us, but there are lots of moms on here who have and found it to actually strengthen their relationships and improve their sex lives.

    The trick to it is to have firm groundrules in place. What are each of you comfortable with? And to be VERY VERY VERY secure in your relationship. Any doubts and you shouldn't do it. If it's something you both want to try then it's fine as long as neither of you is the jealous type and both of you fully trust the other. It can be a good experience, but it can also wreck your marriage if you don't do it right.

    You could look up a member called Kajira, she's a wealth of information on this type of stuff :)

    Good luck!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • My DH and I do not do this, But my father and stepmother have a rather open relationship. Now I don't know all the details, or how far they go, and obviously I don't want to, but I do know they seem to be happier. I think its based on you, your SO, and the relationship. I could never do it. I'm way to jealous as is my DH, so we know we could never sit aside and know one is with another person. BUT, if you can live with it, sure try it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Um Honey, if your SO brings this up, I would say your marriage, or whatever is coming to an end. This will lead to nothing by unfaithfulness, cheating, and hurt feelings. You do not want this.... I would say, I am sorry... it's time to go. You do not need to lower yourself to such crap. Someone out there will want you and only you. Sorry for your loss.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • if you need some spicing up, have you considered trying some toys and the like first?
    swinging works for some couples and that's fine- but I do wonder why so many couples go straight for the swinging or threesomes when they need some more excitement.
    I'm try to keep it just the 2 of you first if it was me. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • If your SO brought this up? IMO he want to cheat on you. If you do not agree to this "OPEN RELATIONSHIP, SWINGING RELATIONSHIP'. The relationship will probably fail. Because he will go have an affair whether or not you say yes or not. Be prepared to break up.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:44 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • People who live that lifestyle never last. Don't risk your relationship. His practically asking you if he can have sex with another woman. How does that sound to you? No amount of "rules or boundaries" will make the act OK and do you really want him enjoying himself on some other woman and are you looking forward to doing the same with another man? Don't risk it buy a flesh light, we have one and its pretty awesome.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • A lot of people swing. It is far more reasonable than having a threesome which imho screws things up. Foursomes (or partying) just makes sense to me. It's in a controlled environment. It's just for fun. Everyone knows the rules. They share it with their mate so it's better than having him go out cheating bc men are simply not monogamous. Some try but they still look and wish they could be with others. I've not heard of any of my swinging friends divorcing. It just seems to work well for many people.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I can't speak for anybody else here but I know I could not stand to know that another woman had my DH inside her and I am positive that my DH would never want another man inside me. We married to be faithful.
    Sorry, I'm sure you wanted more pro comments but I just don't see how having sex with other partners can help the situation. You also have to remember that realtionships go through difficult, different times where it is not all about "love" and you just have to soldier through them to get to the other side and enjoy better times in your relationship. I wish you the best of luck with your next decisions

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 4:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I agree with louise.

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:45 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Never. I could never be ok with my boyfriend sleeping with other women even if I was sleeping with other men.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Mar. 29, 2010

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