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My husband leaves me every weekend and I'm not sure how I feel about

He has family property thast he goes to and hangs out, does whatever he pleases, he comes with reasons to go away for the weekend. This weekend his cousin had a trailer to give him but needed tail lights. It has been 48 hours now, I'm sure the lights are fixed. I get really pissy when he comes back and he thinks I should be "mary sunshine" about his coming back and I'm not, I'm mad and hurt that he puts himself first. On the other hand if he stays home he sits in front of the TV and pouts, doesn't do chit with the kids. I'm not one to leave a marriage unless there's abuse and there are days I wish he'd hit me so I could have a good reason to go. I do everything around here, he works and takes off to do as he pleases. I sometimes like it that he is gone because he is useless to us. then I'm mad when he gets back because it occurs to me he the freedom of a single guy. I get ZERO breaks, he gets then all.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • This sounds to me like neglect. He is neglecting your mariage, his relationship with you; and he is neglecting his family, his relationship with the kids and with you as a family. It also sounds like he may be a bit on the selfish side and possibly quite immature. It may be that he feels inadequate or just flat out avoiding responsibility in taking on the parental role. I think this is very common these days and that it is a direct result of the lack of parenting from a father figure. So many people just did not have a father figure and have no idea what they are supposed to do! Did he have an absent father or a father who "did his own thing"? Whatever the case, you need to communicate and you should get some counceling to help get to the bottom of it before your own children are effected.
    NikkiMomof2grls

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 5:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • sounds like he is cheating to me
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 3:33 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Why can't you go with him when he goes off like that?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:35 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • If its a family property you should be there too, you are family
    awelling

    Answer by awelling at 3:35 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • just a selfish person, so tell him how you feel. if he doesn't care start living your life with out him. go out for the weekends. take the kids to the movie or too the zoo..
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 3:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Sounds to me like there is a communication and connection issue. Are you all in love? is this recent or ongoing? do you want to repair it or leave? these are questions you should ask yourself. If you wanna fix it and so does he then i think you should talk to a good relationship councelor, and get a sitter who can babysit so you can have some alone time too
    dkej242

    Answer by dkej242 at 3:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • this is the op..............
    He stays in a shack that has a concrete floor and has a single bed in it, When I'm around there isn't anything to do. The guys will go shooting targets and I ask to do it but they blow me off, this isn't the warmest family. My girls don't like it there. hubby thinks we should find things to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • It really sounds like you need to talk to him about it if you havent. Make sure he knows its hurting you. I know you dont want to leave him but if you cant respect you enough to care about something bothering you, he doesnt sound like the guy you would want to be with. I would really see a counselor if you both want to work this out so you can learn to communicate better with him and vise versa. And maybe you should suggest you going too?
    Sophie4910

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 3:45 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Instead of letting him go next weekend, have your bag packed before he gets home from work, and as soon as he gets home, you walk out the door and say, "I'm leaving for the weekend. Don't wait up. The list of all the things I normally do during the days and for the kids is on the fridge. Make sure to get them done. I'm going to _____ (my mom's, my friend's, a spa, whatever) so I can have a weekend to myself just like you always get." Then get into the car and leave. Fair is fair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I would give him an ultimatum. Three things to demand.
    1.- That he take you and the kids to the property. If he thinks that it is not a good idea. Then go with number 2
    2.- That he take you and the kids out to a place of your choice for family time. If he still gives you more excuses go with
    number 3
    3.- That he stays a home for the weekend of his choice so you can have Mommy time.

    If he does not comply to any of the above. You ask for divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Mar. 28, 2010