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How can I help my friend?

I have a friend has 3 kids and she is married and is trying to get away from her abusive husband. She text me yesterday and said she just got out the hospital for having pneumonia. But she say he tried to stab her3 times, He threaten to kill her and push her down the stairs. He locks her out the house and out her room, he fights her in front of the her kids, talk crazy to her. it is just a horrible story. So I asked why won't she go or call the police, She say because she has warrants on her and she has domestic charges on her from him, and his sister called CPS on her and she don't want him to take her kids if she goes to jail or she didn't have anywhere for her kids to go if either of them went to jail. She say she talked to her mom for help and advice and her mom tells her to just be quite and not say anything to set him off and try and just save her money so she can try to move. but that is not going to help or solve the i

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • She needs to talk to a lawyer or family counselor ASAP, and report him. There are shelters she can go to where her location will be confidential so she will be free from the abuse. It's NOT ok to be quiet and try not to set him off. His next step could be trying to hurt the kids, or even worse. She needs to get out and take the kids with her, now!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Find the phone number for domestic violence which should be in the front of your phone book and give her the number. Follow the p.p. advice. Good luck to her!

    Answer by kjrn79 at 4:40 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Go pick her and her kids up, take them to a lawyer and have her file for divorce and full custody without him knowing. Then take her to a shelter two maybe three towns away with kids and have her wait there for further instruction from her lawyer, and suggest to her that she should turn to G-d [ Yahweh] and get her life together with his help. Tell her the importance of her not calling her husband or her mother even, since her mom doesn't seem to be on her side. Stress that if she does go back he will eventually kill her. I nearly died from the hands of my ex. Tell her she is not alone and G-d will help her. Yahweh bless.

    Answer by Daphna28 at 5:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • She should call a local shelter and ask what they can do for her

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • She should talk to an attorney or to someone in social services.

    But, here are a few things she should do if she won't talk with anyone.

    She needs to find a place for her and the kids to go, either a shelter or a family member. She would be better off going to a shelter, the YMCA has a great DV program that offers free legal advice. They can also help her get a restraining order and an emergency order regarding custody of the kids.

    Then turn herself in on the warrant, she needs to get that taken care of, it's a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, she needs to make sure her kids are taken care of before then. Otherwise she could go to jail and he would be alone with the kids.

    Most likely if she is in a shelter somewhere with her kids the court won't send her to jail.

    good luck to you and her.


    Answer by sheilaj817 at 10:35 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

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