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So Upset...Depression

I had my baby 4 months ago
I gained a lot of weight
60lbs...I managed to lose 30lbs of it by doing nothing but eating good but now I need to work out and I dont have the time or energy to do so.

My SO told me if I didnt lose the weight he'd leave me
I feel so stupid for being with someone who is basing the fate of our relationship on my weight.
Makes me hate him
He also said Im not his type...whatever thats supposed to mean

Now Im just sulking, I feel so dumb, I cant get out of this foul mood im in either
I just want a break from him and the baby so I can just cry and sleep.

Needless to say I am no longer committing myself to him because as much as I love him, he doesnt love me for me and I can always be alone or find someone who likes me the way I am.

And if anyone is curious to the difference in the way I look
I was a size 3-5 pants before pregnancy
now size 8
he also said his "t

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I'd be asking him why he's with me if he isn't attracted to my "type". I certainly would not be having more children with a man who treats me like that. If your child is a girl then what if he doesn't like her type either? Where does he draw the line? Size 8 is pretty small if you ask me. It takes time to get back down to your pre baby size but not sure you can get back to feeling good about yourself with a man who feels that way about you.
    To smartwifeandmom. That was funny. I wish I had thought of it! lol
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • OP

    he also said his type is a petite build.

    Ive never been that way

    Im 5foot 7inches

    I cant be that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • How long have you been with this asshole? How is he just realizing that your not his type? Dont you think he would have thought of that before you two even got together, like way before having a baby?!?! Sounds like he is a shallow asshole and you could and deserve much better than that! No man should have the right to put you down, and make you feel bad about yourself!!! Im sure he isnt perfect either if he is going to judge you! You just had a baby not that long ago, calm down and enjoy being a mom! You will be able to work the extra wieght off once you being to chase your baby around! lol Kick him to the curb and find someone worth something!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 5:22 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Id leave him. You dont deserve to be treated that way. You just had a baby! Your working on getting rid of the extra weight but any man that will make you feel bad about yourself is not the kind of man you should be with. Thats emotional abuse and hes gonna make you have image issues weather hes trying to or not and thats not fair!
    Sophie4910

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 5:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • First of all, I'm sorry for your depression. Happens to a lot of us. Your SO/DH is exhibiting outrageous behavior. Part of your energy loss is not getting out and getting air and moving around. I know this sounds impossible but the best thing you can do is start walking with the baby. The exercise will truly boost your energy. Add vitamins and D to your diet and lose the weight for you, not for him. Then, leave him. Use him for now, to watch the baby while you get yourself together and don't tell him you plan to dump him. The best way to get out of this situation is for you to control it and make it better on your own. You CAN do this. If you decide later to make it work, so be it.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • People constanting change and evolve over their lifetime. He is bound to change sometime in his life too. My opinion, he either loves you for who you are or does without you. His choice. I would only change what you want to change but I wouldn't personally gain or lose weight for anyone.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 5:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • How long were you together before you got preagnant, was it planned?

    Sounds like neither of you took the time to get to know eachother or at least commit to eachother before bringing a child into the world....

    Sorry girl, but my advise is to hit the ground running, before your child gets hurt in this mess.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • Kick him to the curb. OMG, you just had a baby. That alone is soooo stressful. My guess, from the little you said, he doesn't help with the baby or the house. Do you work on top of all the additional pressure? Get help for the depression. You must be healthy before you can take care of a baby. Don't just take meds go talk to somebody also. Good luck.
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 8:01 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • what the hell, he made a baby with you! omg i feel for you so much, how horrible. It's no wonder you are depressed. Leave this bastard or you're going to be miserable and you're baby wont be getting your 100%. I'm so sorry hun, please get away from this horrible man.
    oogiesmommy

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 8:32 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

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