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9.5 year old claimed to be scared to sleep alone???

my SD will be 10 in July. We have lived in our house for almost 2 years. So, she has been sleeping in her own room alone for almost 2 years. SS just turned 6 & has his own room as well. my DD 20 months has her own room. The kids' rooms are upstairs. SO & I's room is downstairs. At BM's house, they STILL are sharing a room. SO & I both do not think this is appropriate for their ages, but we can't do a lot about it.

Tonight we put them to bed & my SD starts almost crying saying she is scared to sleep alone because they share a room at BMs. This is the FIRST time since we first moved that this has ever happened! I told her that we could hear everything & Daddy & I would never let anything happen to her. I just think this is so strange! Why would she be saying this? Is there something going on at BMs?

I am sure its just that she wanted to sleep downstairs since its spring break....but at the same time it makes me worry.


Asked by aly38914290 at 9:34 PM on Mar. 28, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 8 (259 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would be questioning her more deeply on this matter, as something is out of place. I consider children's feelings important and valid, not right or wrong.

    Answer by Ewadun at 9:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • I am not saying there is anything wrong or right about it...but it isn't normal. At her mom's she knows that she can cry and get her way. Here it doesn't work that way. She didn't cry cry, but her eyes got watery. At first she didn't even want to tell me what she was scared about.

    I asked her what was wrong & she said that she didn't know. i said whats up sweety...its okay...finally she said she was scared. I said what are you scared about? she said she didn't know. i asked again, whats going on? whats wrong? finally she said she was scared of sleeping alone. that at mom's she sleeps w/bubby. that they share a room. we know they share a room - last i knew they slept in seperate beds...when she first said sleep w/bubby, a red flag went up, but then i felt better when she said since they share a room.

    after i went in & gave her brother his goodnight hug & kiss, she got out of bed to go to the bathroom. cont.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:44 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • she still seemed upset, gave her dad a hug and kiss again, and made sure to give me another hug. but she went back to bed quietly. i haven't heard anything since then. but i still wonder what is really going on. she internalizes a lot - she is like her dad. i always try to let her know that i am here for her and she can always talk to me. i know she isn't always happy with the rules here or the lack of one on one attention from her mom.....she use to feel the need to lie about me (in a bad way) to her mom because she felt the need to protect her mom....that her mom wanted to hear bad things about me. she is hard to read sometimes and i just worry about her more than i worry about her brother.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:46 PM on Mar. 28, 2010

  • There are a few things that are concerning me. First you have a Significant Other and you are not married? What message does this send to the child of stability? Secondly, she is lonely and likes having the security of knowing that her brother is in the room with her. At 6 he is not going to molest her. But IMO, I think your whole family is messed up! Why do people start families, throw away marriages and then go live with someone else. Blended familes are so hard on children. Maybe as parents, your SO should just take care of his family instead of starting a new relationship. I am so tired of people putting their kids second so they can be "happy". .

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Anon 49.....Really....Have you ever thought that the kids are happier now that they have a STABLE mother figure in their life that isn't a complete flake and selfish? Also....they should never have married or had children....they are the most ill-matched couple i have ever met. they had SD before they were married. it is better for the kids that they aren't together. and it is better that both their mom and thier dad have found people who are better suited to them.

    i did not ask you to judge my lifestyle or my FAMILY'S lifestyle...asked you a question about sleeping. get off your freaking high horse

    also seeing as the lawyer we talked to seem to agree they are TOO old to be sharing a room. she is hitting puberty and both need their privacy. no one said her younger brother was going to molest her!!!

    and him being 6 would not keep him from that. my cousin was 6 the first time he molested me when I was 4!

    Answer by aly38914290 at 7:48 PM on Mar. 30, 2010