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Is it okay that my baby is crying before he falls asleep by himself?

My baby is 13 months old and I've made my mind to teach him to fall asleep by himself. A lot of people tell me that I have to do that as the more I wait the harder it will be both for him and for me. what's your opinion, and maybe your pediatricians gave you any advices? Is it okay if I let him cry? And for how long? It's not easy for me at all, as he got used to fall asleep in my arms, but on the other hand I realize that I must do something, it can't continue forever.. give me your advices, please,who went through this...thank you

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Olya82

Asked by Olya82 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 29, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (20)
  • Not in my opinion but if you are determined to use the CIO method don't let him cry for more than 15 minutes. I think that method is cruel and makes the child think you abandoned him but it's your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Check out The No Cry Sleep Solution if the crying tugs at your conscience too much.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I let dd cio at about that age. However, I couldn't stand 5 minutes so I'd go in there every 5 mins, let her know I can hear her and make sure she's ok. Let her know I didn't leave and she's not alone then leave the room again. However, when she turned 18 mos she would just sit there and cry for HOURS!!!! And the more often I went in, the longer the crying lasted. It was AWFUL!!! I couldn't rock her because she just wanted to play so she learned how to self soothe and started singing herself to sleep the more I let her cry for longer... but she was older at that time.
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • CIO has never been proven to be harmful to a child. Wait 10 - 15 minutes before checking on him. If you go in every 5 minutes, he'll never learn to self soothe.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 5:48 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • My husband had a 45 minute rule. Both twins were sleeping through the night at 3 months. I feel bad about it now, but back then I was just too exhausted to care. They're almost 17 and it doesn't seem to have done them any harm, they're both really good kids still. Amazingly they never woke each other up, and now they can sleep through anything!
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I've never really understood how making a baby cry makes them sleep better. Seems to me that it works them up, and they don't get healthy sleep. I've also never really understood this push to make sure a baby can fall asleep by themselves "because otherwise they never will". How do people know this? Are there kids in college that can't sleep because their mom isn't there? Self soothing is such a crock of a term. Crying isn't soothing. It's asking for help. When it isn't answered, they learn hey, I can't trust mom and dad, so why bother.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 7:28 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I"m also a big fan of the No Cry Sleep Solution. I started it with my daughter at 9 months, and my son at 4 months. They both go to sleep on their own, with no crying involved :) Check it out!
    TiffanyMarie80

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 11:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I used the CIO method with both my boys, they are no 2yrs old and 8mo old...however I didn't actully need to use it with my youngest, whenever he was tired he'd cry no matter what I did, I could be holding him and he'd cry, so I made up my mind to put him down one night and he was out...it was so strange...as for my oldest it was about a week of crying where I would go in every 5-10min and check on him, after a week he stopped and aside from the occasional nightmare, he has slept through the night since
    KnitWit0686

    Answer by KnitWit0686 at 11:50 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • love it white rose! How many moms do have to go to college with their kids haha
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 12:42 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Is it okay? I dont know.. ask your child..oh wait, you cant, he cant speak.. he cries.
    I dont think its okay, I did it with my oldest because people told me I HAD to or she'd never go to sleep by herself blah blah b*llshit.
    My 18mth old co sleeps... best decision I EVER made. We LOVE it.
    Auntiemom410

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 12:45 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

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