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When going thru a divorce, do u date? if not what do u do to ease pain?

2 kids no job and hurting

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AshleyAndrea

Asked by AshleyAndrea at 6:39 PM on Mar. 29, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • i'm be dealing with this soon. i wouldnt date till the divorce is final. If i had family around I would let them watch my children maybe once anight while I did something for myself. Maybe go out one night with a friend to a movie or dinner or a bar. Or give myself a spa treatment.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:46 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Don't date. There will be plenty of time for that after your divorce. Keep yourself involved with your kids. Stay connected with family and friends, pick up a hobby/craft, take time for yourself everyday doing something just for you that you enjoy. Join a support group for single parents. They usually do family oriented activities and there you may meet up with others who are going through the same thing you are, or at least they can relate.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 7:18 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • BOTH of my parents dated long before a divorce was final. If you know the marriage is OVER, it's over, so move on I say. If you feel comfortable meeting new people now, go for it.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 7:19 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • As long as the divorce has been filed and everyone understands the party is over then you can date but if it's just in the talking stage it's best to wait.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:49 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • how do u think that dating will ease the pain? if u plan to pour your thoughts and feeling out on a date u may never have another when u r truly ready and get over it. talk to someone who will keep your confidences and concentrate on your children. they neeed u now and u should feel good about being available for them. i agree with admkenzie as for dating. u need to get over at least some of the heartbreak before having your first date. its a process and one that takes time. invest the time in yourself so u dont repeat your past.. best of luck--in time u will feel better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I went through a divorce for FOUR long years.FOUR! After the first initial months, I stayed at home and basically laid on the couch staring blankly at the tv as my son did whatever he wanted in the house. Then I got up and started going out with the girls. I became a man hater. I dated like crazy and treated tehm all like crap. I took whatever they were willing to give me, money, presents,dinner,trips,whatever. I didn't care, they would all hurt me in the end anyway,right? After about a year of doing that, I looked in the mirror and decided enough.I didn't like who I had become.Just because one man was an asshole,surely there was one out there that was decent.I decided to quit dating for the time being. I focused on myself,my son and begain going to church.I did things I enjoyed doing,parks,fishing,bycycling,whatever.Then I met someone and we became best friends,6 months into that, we became more.3 Years later, were still toge
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • thank u all for responsing, i dnt know wht else to do...
    AshleyAndrea

    Answer by AshleyAndrea at 11:49 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I would not recommend dating DURING the divorce. I know you are probably lonely and hurting and want someone to comfort you, but try to find that in a friend or family member for now. Really, it just confuses everything if you bring a third party into the mix during a divorce. In some states, like Wyoming where I live, adultery is still against the law here and it can be used in a divorce proceeding. If you are dating or sleeping with someone other than your spouse during a divorce, the courts here can take everything you have and give it to the other spouse. Even without the laws, I just think (from my personal experience) that you should wait until the divorce is final. Then you will be free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. Take it slow, don't rush through life.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:43 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Dating will not ease the pain. Dealing with the issue of what happened or didn't happen is best so when you do begin dating, you will not end up with the same type of person you're now divorcing.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:49 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

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