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what would you have told your 16yr old dd?

Kayla has been in such a mood ever since saturday morning. I even think I heard her crying while she was showering. So finally today I got her to talk.... I think the pint of Ben & Jerrys helped ~wink~

Well she told me that at the party Friday night she did something a little slutty and was upset. OMG!!! I freaked... but tried so hard to keep a good poker face. She told me that she had locked lips with more than one boy. oh my.... now I was breathing a bit easier... yes slutty... but not where my mind had gone... thank God!

She had kissed one boy, then someone told her that the boy was only "on a break" from his girlfriend and really not available. Then at some point she kissed the other guy she was "crushing on" seeing as he is available.

???? What would you have said????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • Kudos for keeping your cool!! I think the fact that she was so upset by her actions shows just how mature she is and that she already knows she did so something inappropriate so I would spare the lecture. Tell her that yes, what she did was kind of trashy but we all make mistakes and the important thing is that she learns from it. Then tell her your proud of her for coming to you and that ALL she did was kiss them and share a little girl time!
    Slinkee

    Answer by Slinkee at 7:37 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I would have told her the world really wasn't going to come to an end because she kissed two boys in one night... Like you said, at least it was only kissing! Just tell her we all make mistakes every now and then, and that she should look at it like a learning experience, that maybe next time she should get to know the boy she's crushing on a little better before kissing him. Poor thing, I can't believe she got that upset over it! When I was 16...whew! But I'm taking the 5th on that one, heh.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 7:39 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Thank you Slinkee & Anouck....

    She did want advice on what to do about the boys. Boy 1) told her that she was misinformed and that he and the girl were broken up and that he had really liked her... that is why he was kissing her. And he is VERY upset with her because she kissed the other boy. Boy 2) now thinks he is the one she choose.

    She said if she hadnt kissed either one she would want boy 1 to like her and that is who she likes the bes.



    Good God.... cant we just worry about zits and braces??!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • First, I would NOT consider what she did slutty behavior. Second, I would not have freaked out, I would have been honest and told her to be careful!! She kissed a boy, didn't have sex with him and that is a HUGE difference. I may just be more laid back than most parents and more open and honest with my son, but I would never call that behavior slutty and I would have told her that and reassured her.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I freaked out because I thought she was going to tell me it was sex.


    Im not freaked about her kissing so much.... I remember being 15.  But I find it in very poor taste to be kissing multiple boys in one night.  It is tacky behavior unbecoming of the person she claims she is striving to be.


    I personally think ANY person of ANY age kissing multiple people in one night is in poor taste.


     


    But that I guess is neigther here nor there... you and I can disagree.  I was just stumped about what to tell her about the boy drama.... dont know if my advice was very productive.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • I would have told my teen girl that that is how reputations start. Just because all she did was kiss doesn't mean that that's the story that will be told. Boys have images that they think they need to build...if one boy says he copped a feel even if he didn't then the next one is going to go one step further in his tall tale even if all he got was a handshake---it'll come across that she gave him oral sex. The best thing to do is to NOT kiss boys willy nilly, to avoid any kind of social setting where things like that will happen. BTW, I have survived the teen years 4 times with 3 daughters and a son who are now 18, 20, 22 and 24....and I know that rumors get started even if the teens NEVER so much AS shake hands. You have to keep everything supervised so that the stories can't get started.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would have said, don't be so hard on yourself, making out with multiple partners can be slutty, but the situation was legitimate. And most importantly she made the right choice casting aside the boy who was "on a break". I would have reminded her that she learned and good lesson, that moving too quickly between guys she is interested in makes her feel bad, so in the future she will give these things more thought before moving in for the lip-lock. I would tell her that all in all I am proud of her choices and the way she is thinking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would have told her to stick to one set of lips next time, that this in no way made her a slut!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:37 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I agree with everyone herer. :) lol.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:14 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

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