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Pack and Play or Crib?

Hello all! My daughter is 4 months old and she sleeps in her pack and play in our room. She won't ever sleep in her crib and I am wondering when I absolutley need to make the transition to crib. I hate that it is sitting there not ever being used. Also, my husband and I sort of need our alone time!! Any suggestions would be great! Also, I was wondering everyone's opinion on "letting the baby cry" The pediatrician said that I need to let her cry it out and she will go back to sleep but every time I try to do this I end up just sitting there listening to her and feeling like a horrible mom! My husband thinks that she is too young to just let her cry but I don't want her getting older and just crying cause she knows mommy will be there. Although I have had some success in doing this she will cry for 25-30 min. and go back to sleep but just wondering what ya'll thought!!

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melissaaytes

Asked by melissaaytes at 9:26 PM on Mar. 29, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (85 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I think letting a baby cry til they pass out is cruel and studies have shown it teaches them not to trust that someone is there. think of it this way-she can only cry to say "I need you" so if she cries, you dont show up she thinks"I am all alone in this"...so you modify it. let her cry a few mins, pop in lay her down and say"nite nite love you" go back out for 5 mins, repeat then 10 mins, 10 mins, then 15, 15 get it? It can take a few days, or just one nite but she knows you are there if she really needs ya, but she doesnt think you coming in is party time. I have an 11 month old and a group of moms with babies and this worked for all 25 of us I swear on ti. the crib, you make sure its a fun place but not too fun, int he day go into her room with her, put her in and do stuff in there. let her see its not lonely and cont.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • well i always stopped co-sleeping and let them cio at 6 mo. idk about the play pen thing. i slept with them on the bed and then i put them in the crib once they could roll good. but of course cio is much easier to do if the baby is not in the same room as you are. is it possible for her to have her own room? that will make the process easier on both of you.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:32 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • we also have a 14 yr old and they share a room but when older son needs time we have baby sleep in pak and play in our room. He goes between them with no probs now...just a nice change for him. BUT at almost 1 yr, he is getting too big for the pak n play. he shakes it and soon it wont be safe for him. let me know if you have any questions on the cio method, good luck . hang in there, sounds like youre doing fine. its normal to be upset when the baby is crying for us...its a matter of balancing I think. :)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:33 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Read the directions that came with the pack and play. It will probably say that babies aren't supposed to sleep in it.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 9:42 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • That's not exactly helpful, Gailll.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 10:05 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • There's a lot of middle ground between what you're doing and flat out cio. Some people have good luck with suggestions in the No Cry Sleep Solution book. You do not have to let your baby cry to change her sleep habits.
    whiteroses82

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 10:10 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Um. A 4 month old is WAY TOO YOUNG to be CIO'ing. Seriously. It's different if a baby has colic and the mother is cradling the child and rocking the child and comforting the child. You could cause an attachment disorder by not responding to her needs when she's this young. You need to be working on a bond and responding to your baby when she cries. If she's crying: she's hungry, needs held, needs love, is thirsty, hurts/gas, or just generally needs you. You need to change doctors. Your doctor is old-school and we live in a new world full of research against this. Think long-term health, not short-term sleep. Your husband is right. 25-30 minutes? Are you.. kidding.. me?? CPS defines it as ABUSE when you let a baby or child cry for more than 45 minutes unattended after 6 months. I don't know what the guidelines are before 6 months. Probably 30 minutes. I think you need to see a therapist. This just isn't right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • To answer your question, though, you could switch her to a crib at any point.

    And I'm serious about the therapy. If you trust your doctor to the point of going against your maternal instincts.. you need to re-evaluate your role as a mother. Are you there to nurture and help a child grow into a wonderful and loving person, or do you think it is your job to ignore needs in order to meet your own goals or your doctor's goals ? I don't know what sort of doctor would tell a parent to do this, but, that doctor needs CPS to come over and have a little talk with him. What he is telling you to do is abuse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • And who is it who has done tons of research that says that babies are capable of sleeping through the night at 4 - 6 - 8 months? There isn't anyone. It's all anectdotal. All the research points to babies NOT being capable of sleeping through the night if they awake hungry they are hungry. Depriving her of food could cause hypoglycemia which can cause BRAIN DAMAGE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

  • Wow you get all types of answers on this site....I didnt get my son a crib, we got a cradle as a gift, then he went to the pak n play then to a toddler bed..well were trying the toddler bed...but if you need your alone time put the pak n play in another room. And it is important for you to teach your baby to start soothing herself, but at four months my baby DEFINITELY wasnt sleeping through the night..we had gotten pretty close...Get up check her, make sure shes not dirty or hungry, talk to her try to reposition her and calm her down...but i wouldnt let her CIO this young...you could see if shes just making noises or yelling because she woke up...my son used to do that, then hed get comfy and go back to bed....But if he got louder it was time to get up...theres a difference in their cries...make sure your feeding her enough...i think you may just have your hopes to high for the amt of time of sleep you want!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:56 PM on Mar. 29, 2010

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