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What should I do with my hubby?

He was really sweet and asked me to help him with his gambling addiction. SO I have been checking the checking account daily and keeping tabs of all the bills. The problem is that we have not paid the mortgage and one of the credit card bills. I am so afraid he is going to ditch me by not paying the mortgage. We do not have the money so what should I say to him? He is a very good father and good hubby, and told me I am not a burden, but does anyone know what happens if you miss a payment with the mortgage company and major credit card? We are paying everything else on time and no late charges. So any advice? I am so scared ...I hope he does not bail out on me. I know he loves me but I am petrified....


Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Not paying your mortgage is bad. You need to contact your lender today and explain your situation and come up with a plan to pay what you can. Your lender can foreclose on you for not paying your mortgage. Credit cards should be your last concern. Your priorities are your mortgage, utilities, groceries, and gas. You pay your credit cards last. Credit card companies cannot take your house, your car, or turn off your utilities. All they can do is hurt your credit score and eventually turn you over to a collection agency.

    My dad had a gambling addiction. We almost lost the house. My mom put everything in her name and divorced him. He never moved out; it was simply a legal move to protect our assets. It was a huge wake up call and he kicked his addiction. He doesn't even buy lotery tickets now.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:35 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • i don't think anything happens if you miss one payment on either..i think your credit score will just go down a little on the credit careful though on the mortgage, bc if you get sucked into a repayment plan the amount could be higher all around than you can afford. my dh's house repayment plan went from low 500ish to 895, and at the time we could not afford it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would ignore the credit card. I also would not take the first anon's word on the utilities. Where I live, they can shut you off the day after your bill is due if you didn't pay. It all depends on where you live and what they are allowed to do. I do, however, agree with her that you can often set up a payment plan on bills. Also, you can call the mortgage company and see what they might be able to work with you. Explain that you're a bit short right at the moment, and see if maybe you can work something out where you pay half now, and the other half next week, or when you make your next payment, or whatever. Don't just let it go, though. Mortgage companies all over are screwing homeowners and you don't want to give them an opening to do it to you.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:54 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would rather the mortgage be late or miss a payment than the credit card. Read your user agreement, for most cards if your even one day late then your interest is going to double or triple in some cases going as high as 29.9%. UNLESS, of course, you are so far behind on bills that you are in danger of not making multiple payments, if you're on the verge of bankruptcy then yes screw the credit card. Most mortgages have a 15 day grace period anyway and your payment is only late after that. If you have any chance of recovering you finances, it's going to cost less and hurt your credit less to miss a mortgage payment.

    Answer by Slinkee at 10:39 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • The mortgage should be the first bill you ever pay and if you have to be late or miss something, let it be a credit card. You have to have a roof over your head before you need a good credit rating due to credit cards. Prioritize. I hope he doesn't bail out on you too. Good luck.

    Answer by TarLion at 11:35 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • most mortgages have grace periods. ours is 30 days. always, always stay in touch with your creditors and let them know when you will be paying and what is going on. a lot of times they will work with you. also, ask them if they will defer a payment. they will take the payment due on the first and put it at the end of your loan. so you basically have a loan that is one month longer and you can skip this months payment without any penalties.


    Answer by KristaRene at 12:53 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Don't miss a payment, especially on your mortgage. I have to say I found it odd that your hubby was nice enough to say that YOU are not a burden...but didn't say that about his gamling issue. That is a burden, and it is falling on you too. Hope you can stay afloat.

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:56 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • No, he admitted it. He said we deserve better than that. That is why I am controlling the bank account and bills now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Mar. 30, 2010