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Leaving husband and need some advice!

I really don't know where to post this but I am thinking of leaving my husband b/c he hasnt done anything for the past year to help take care of me and the kids but giving me empty promises. In the process I finished my associates and will be done w/ my bachelor in marketing in Sept. I want to move to a state that will benefit my career more so than my current location. I of course would probably need to use public housing until I am able to get a decent job and get on my feet. But my STBX is very discouraging saying I wont be able to do it. I guess my question is, is it possible to sign up for things like section 8 before moving to another state or do you already have to be living in that state? Any moms out there who have separated from their husband and have made it on their own? I will have 3 kids and don't know if i can do it on my own.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I believe you already have to live in the state, because you have to go by the county you live in. I dont know where you plan on moving but I know here in Michigan there is a 2 year waiting list to get section 8, and even then your not garenteed! Maybe you should start by looking for a job, and maybe stashing some money to save for an appartment. I am sure you will be just fine on your own, you do what you have to when it comes to your kids. Sounds like there is more to the problem than some empty promises, I can understand being upset about that and even a trial seperation from your husband to maybe get him to step up but ending a marriage? Not to mention if you do get a divorce, you have to get permission from the courts before moving your children away from their dad! GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Well I know you can't sign up for Section 8 by long distance. You have to go in to the office and apply to get on the waiting list. There was a time I signed up and had to leave the state and stay with my sister across the state line. When they called me to tell me it was my turn I told them I'd be back to pick up my voucher. They said bc I left the state i had to forfeit and start all over again waiting years to get back to number one. I do know that if you apply in your state then you can transfer your voucher to the new state.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • let me be very honest...section 8 is virtually non exsistant in most states anymore. The system is so heavy with moms needing help right now even if there still is a state taking applications, the wait list is years long. Most of the sect 8 states also require you to be homeless before putting you on the list even. what you can do is this. google your state and countys human services, or google something like"state assistance" in your area...then you can find all the info and stuff available.
    But dont give up hope, save, borrow do what you have to do. and one more sure you want to leave him because of that reason...try whatever you have to to make it work. its a lonely world out here hon, especially for a mom with kids, then add state aid to me I know.....its hard, but not impossible. good luck.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:20 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • No you have to live in the state before the tax payers have to pay for your children for you

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice everyone. I do get some money back from my school b/c of student loans so i guess i could use that to travel for interviews. And anon :27, get a life, seriously. The system is for mothers or anyone that has been though hard times. I do not plan on staying on assistance forever. If that was the case I wouldn't even be trying to get my degree.

    and to answer yes, there is more than empty promises, there's cheating, lying among other things

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • It depends on the state. Go to your government's website ( for example) and look up their section 8 requirements. I don't believe you can apply for a section 8 in another state then where you're currently living, but I could be wrong.

    If it's best for you and your children, then you can do it!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:43 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

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