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Im 20 years old and i dont have a sex drive anymore...am i the only one??

I am almost 21 years old, i have a baby girl who is 14 months old, and a husband who loves me very much. we used to have sex very often, and he still is in that routine, but i just NEVER want to have sex anymore, i feel like i am the only person in the world. i have no one to talk to about it, i feel stuck. I know sex is important in a marriage, and it has already caused fights, i just want to be "fixed". The doctor says there is nothing i can do except try to get in the mood, like get a baby sitter, and plan it, but it just doesnt work. Help me.

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babySTAR09

Asked by babySTAR09 at 11:35 AM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Did the idiot doctor check your hormones to see if they were off balance? That's usually what it is and fixable.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:36 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I have never been one to have a high sex drive, and I am only 21! I know that there are a lot of things that effect my sex drive, like stress! When there is a lot of stress in my life, and I have a lot going on it really effects my sex drive!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Women don't reach their peak until their 30's. I am rarely in the mood for sex, but most times I just do it and I'm never sorry when its over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • my doctor isnt an idiot. he is a smart doctor, and i trust him. he mentioned to me a few options that i felt wouldnt help. The problem with me is i USED to be in the mood all the time, and now i dont.

    And yes, stress probably is a good reason why i dont want to do it, but my life has even began getting less stressful and i still dont want to.
    babySTAR09

    Answer by babySTAR09 at 11:47 AM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • A couple of things:
    Are you on hormone birth control? Being on the pill killed my libido so I went off. Now I have birth control challenges but a better sex drive.
    I have heard it said that sex is one of those things that the more you do it the more you want to do it, and if you just get started even when you aren't in the mood you can usually get aroused and into the mood. So as unromantic as it is, sometimes you have to look at it as a "to-do" like exercise or laundry. No one gets excited to do those things but at least with sex once you start the "chore" there is usually a much better payoff than clean laundry.
    Maybe try something new that sexually excites you- get a book of positions- it doesn't have to be smutty, or it can be smutty, whatever might rev up your engines. Be creative, and if the payoff is more sex I am sure your DH will get on board.

    And don't give up. It can get better, just work on it.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I am on Mirena the IUD. my Doctor said it shouldnt effect my libido other then mentally ill know that i wont get pregnant, which he said subconsciously makes woman post-pregnancy not want to do it...so in turn will make me feel comfortable having sex, but its been a year now and still nothing. I agree, the whole "chore" thing could work, but i have such a hard time telling myself to just do it.

    And most of the time when I do agree to have sex, i can have an orgasm, thats not the problem, its just getting into the sac. thanks for the advice, i think we are also going to try a sex therapist next...if thatll do anything and if its not expensive
    babySTAR09

    Answer by babySTAR09 at 12:22 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Start with a visit to your doctor, to rule out a medical issue.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • me too, I dont know what happened it went from everday, to a few times a week to nothing at all, I dont want it even a little bit, and when he wants sex I just roll my eyes cause the thought of it just sounds that bad. I am 26 and I really hope there is something to do... its strange that i can be so undesiring of sex but the desire to desire sex is there.... hmm?
    kristalee83

    Answer by kristalee83 at 4:08 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

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