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Did I overstep my boundaries?

My family was eating dinner at my in-laws one evening, and I was sitting at the table with my two nephews (11 and 12), 1 neice (7), and my 3 year old son (everyone else was standing). My nephew (12) starts using foul language, and OMG this and that and using language that should not even be known by a child, and I look over and tell him that if he does not stop using that kind of language around me, I'm going to back hand him (It was a figure of speech, even he knew that),, well, he and my neice (brother and sister) are NOT made to mind they do what they want when they want and talk to their parents however they want, AND DON'T GET IN TROUBLE, their mother says "they are only kids" and has NEVER spanked them once.
Anyway, my MIL tells my DH that his sister was "very upset" that I said something to her son, and he tells her that she is lucky that .... continued


Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Nope, there is nothing wrong with saying sometime!!! That is their choice to allow their children to act and talk like that but when they are around other people they need to have respect! Your young child was around and doesnt need to hear talk like that because a 3 yr old will repeat it! I would have done the same thing! I dont understand why she would allow her children to act and talk that way, but we cant choose how others parent! A lesson I am learning too with my family members!

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 12:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • You were right to comment on the child's language, I would have also said something. But the "I'm going to back hand you" comment was out of line.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • correcting language is one thing, threatning to put your hands on someone else's child is WAY out of line IMO

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:02 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • You're right about the kid needing to not say that. But even as a figure of speech, what you said was just as bad. You should apologize to the parents about what you said, and then tell them you find what their son said to be completely out of line and that you were frustrated. Tell them you don't want your three year old learning that kind of language because it's uncalled for, but your child is at the age where they pick up everything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • .....that she was lucky I said something, because he was about to get a whippin from him. His sister is his moms favorite, and so are the kids.
    Both kids are over weight, don't do anything but sit on their rear ends and do NOTHING! They get handed anything (video games, all the newest gameboys, nintendo's etc..) for nothing. My nephew FAILED kindergarden because he "didn't feel like it" ( AT 5 YEARS OLD) Their mom doesn't care she works 7-5 mon-fri, and ASKS to take weekends because....and I quote..."I can't stand to be around my kids" HELLO anyone else see a problem with this other than me.
    But in my defence, I will NOT have a 12 year old cuss me out, or talk down to me,,,,and I will NOT allow my kids to be influenced by them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • well like in my family the back hand comment would have been accepted because it just seems like an almost funny thing to say ( and most of the kids in my family do get backhanded lol) ..... but with some people it probably would upset them, especially with the kind of mom you described -- she has a 12 y/o and still using the expression that they are just kids...well she made her own bed there ..... Just try your best to ignore further comments ( on both ends)

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:05 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • It depends on where you come from,,,around here backhanding is the nice way to do things,,,,especially when the 12 year old weighs more than I do.
    I come from a LONG line of FIRM believers of BUTT WHIPPINGS! In my (and my DH's family that has always been the case)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would've have said something to the mother of the foul-mouthed. You are in no position to reprimand him.

    Answer by Energ8zr at 12:07 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would have said something for sure but left out the physical threat.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I agree with you, I would have said something too. And if it were MY son cursing around an adult like that, i would expect the adult to say something too...but maybe not having said "backhand him"
    I don't agree that anyone but myself or my sons father should physically discipline my son if he needs spanked.
    Maybe you could have said it differnently and it wouldn't be an issue now.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:20 PM on Mar. 30, 2010