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Bio Father Drama... yay!

What would you do if every time your kid's father decided he wanted to visit and you had something planned for that day, he started cussing you out in front of your kid and saying he is just a sperm donor and you'll regret all the sh*t you've done to him one day?

Just a little background. I get NO child support, we haven't been together since I got pregnant, he's got several other kids he has absolutely nothing to do with, he's a felon, and he doesn't try to see our daughter regularly (probably about once or twice a month). She has cried in the past when he came to pick her up because she doesn't know him that well and was scared of him (which of course to him is MY fault)... Would you let (or make) your child go anywhere with him? FYI Our daughter is 3.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • As long as you are not denying him visitation because he doesn't pay child support, then you should be fine.

    If she does not want to go, then you do not have to make her. If you have plans, then I would not cancel plans because he's decided to come get her.

    My daughter's father has seen her twice and has only asked to take her one time. He was denied because I already had plans to take her places over the weekend and he called me at the last minute. He's never asked since then and continues to tell ppl that I do not allow him to see her.

    Good Luck Again.

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 1:15 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • child support and visitation rights have nothing to do with each other, you can't deny visits because of non-payment. Are you going through the courts?

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • no I wouldnt .... I would say he is harrassing me and my child and get a restraining order and then try and get full custody ( bring up the fact that he doesnt see all of the kids he has) ...

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:10 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't. It must be very scary for her. I wouldn't let him even be alone with her, if he blows up like that I would be afraid that one day he will take her and just never bring her back.

    Answer by LucyT20 at 1:10 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I know it sucks, but you can't keep him from seeing her just because he does not provide support. YES, it sucks, but that's how it works.
    If my daughter was crying like that when he came to get her, I don't know if I'd be able to make her go with him.
    Good Luck

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 1:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • No, we've never been to court. Mainly because he just won't take me. I don't want or need his money, but if he wants to see her, he should be offering something (which he isn't). He won't take me to court because he's owes like $30,000 back child support for two other kids. I'm not "denying" visitation. I let him see her. But if she doesn't want to go, I don't make her. Then he gets pissed. Or if we have something else planned for the "only" day he can see her, then he just doesn't get to see her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would tell him to kiss my a** and take me to court if he didn't like it! You have sole custody, if he's that type of father he probably would not be willing to take you to court-it sounds like he's trying to use your LO against you and that's not fair, he's the absent parent, he's the slacker, why should you have to give up your time because he decides to come around once in while?, he can do it right and go through the courts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • why does he have to take you to court? march down there yourself and file the paperwork

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:12 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Unless there is a court order that demanded it, No, I would not let my daughter see him at all.
    I would honestly record (if it is legal in your state) one of his tirades, and get him served with a restraining order for both you and your child.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 1:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • and his name isn't on her birth certificate... there is nothing that even says he's her father. And he came in my work today with my daughter here (because she was sick) and he was cussing and fussing about not getting her Saturday. After he left she said "Jason (she calls him by his first name) was in here acting like a scary person." Now that's just wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2010