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Two last jokes that may be offensive to Christians so again fore warned.

Q: A candy is on a table in the center of a room. In the four corners of the room are God, an atheist, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus. Suddenly the lights go out. When the lights come back on, the candy is gone. Who ate it?

A: The atheist. There's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny, and there's no such thing as God.
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A ranger was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform.
I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent and the professor began his lecture Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God - still waiting."
It got down to the last minute when the Ranger stood up, walked toward the professor and twisted his arm and threw him

 
hot-mama86

Asked by hot-mama86 at 2:48 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i love these ...they are great...you gotta keep posting them
    jaksonsmommy

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 3:05 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • on his back off the platform, then places his knee in his neck untill he is unconcious. The ranger went back to his seat and sat down. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
    The professor came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Ranger and asked, "What's is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
    The Ranger calmly replied, "God is busy today trying to explain to the 364 extremists I sent to his kingdom on my last tour "Get the f@^$ away from my gate, theres no virgins here." So He sent me."
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:49 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • That's cool your intittled to your opinion and I didn't write them. I had to read the first one three times to get it.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • now i loved the second one
    mom2snsb

    Answer by mom2snsb at 2:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Let me tell you, my husband just walked into our room and found me cracking up, I had to read a few of them to him!
    older

    Answer by older at 2:59 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • This is a much better crowd than last time. I might post a few more after I get the kids lunch. I'm glad you enjoy them:)
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 3:01 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • A Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist
    There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, "She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn't she know there isn't a God?"

    Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying "Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don't you know there is no God?" But she kept on praying.

    One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, "Humph! I'll fix her."

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, "You ol' crazy lady, God didn't buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!" At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.

    When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, "I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn't know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!"

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • That one was awesome! love it!
    older

    Answer by older at 4:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Well, the first one's funny but the second one is old and tired. But typical of christians everywhere. Their god is too wimpy to do his own fighting, so his believers end up having to do it FOR him, hee-hee!!!
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 6:44 PM on Mar. 30, 2010