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"Have you found Jesus?"

So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward...She takes my arm and with trembling voice, she asks...."Have you found Jesus?" Her eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.

Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But, unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last 9 minutes. So by now I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong with these people. I mean if it's not Christians, it is the Jehovah's Witnesses. Can a simple Druid get no peace?

So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic, I reply, "You people lost him, again?"


Asked by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let her get going so I launch into a speech of my own.

    "What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've lost Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really..." I take a measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a deity that you can't even find?"

    The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked she looks desperately to the car... Surely one of the men can help.... Undaunted I press on... "Maybe the problem is with you people. I mean Muslims never seem to loose their deity. Come to think of it neither do Jews or Pagans of any kind."

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I realize you people used to burn people like me at the stake. What was that about... deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever woke up panicked that I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are always right where they should be... In the fire of my candle, in the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies)."

    "Of course, you Christians aren't much fun," I continue. By now they are all out of the car. Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for words. "Of course," I offer trying to give them some defense for losing Jesus. "He could have left due to religious differences. If I remember correctly, He was Jewish.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • i would have said "nope I didnt get a chance to clean the living room today"

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 4:28 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • So if you are really so eager to find him," I smile gently to soften the blow, "Check the nearest synagogue. He's probably in there. Also you folks should try and remember that this is America... Where freedom of religion means ALL religions."

    Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the bus stop... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus, but I haven't lost him either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Yes i found him his in my back yard gardening.... i think hes trimming my bushes right now...btw i didnt read all of this...

    Answer by mommy16love at 4:30 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I like when I am acosted and asked "Do you know where you are going when you die?"....I say:"Yes, in a hole in the ground."

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 4:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I did find Jesus! I found him a few years ago. I have prayed hard for relatives left in despair to find him. My brother was a wreck, he was on drugs, alcohol and sex. He lied, he cheated, he stole... he found Jesus and is now saved.

    Thanks for asking, he was never lost...I was lost and now I am found

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • oh I read the joke as well, but I gave a response that I wanted to answer the question.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • That's a hilarious joke. My dh just says ya I found him, He's in my pants want to see? Here pretty soon if the bible thumpers of I'm right your wrong don't stop preaching to me a Christian I think I may just join sides with my dh. Then no one can comment about mixed yolk.:)

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 4:38 PM on Mar. 30, 2010