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What would you do/think if a life long friend was charged with a sex crime against a child? Would you think "innocent till proven guilty"?

Or would you just assume they must be guilty because they were charged? This is a man I have known for about 25 yrs (since jr high). He is married, has kids of his own. I do not know the details as yet (he lives out of state & I just found out today from a mutual friend). He is back in our area with relatives as of now because he isnt allowed home. I have always considered him a good friend & never would imagine this was something that he would do. The actual charge is a second degree felony. Would you just decide he must have done it? What if it gets dropped or goes to trial & he is found not guilty..would you still assume he did it?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would take the wait and see type attitude with it.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't take a chance. I'd keep my kids away from them. I always assume there is some truth to any accusation.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:18 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • It depends on the evidence, but noone on Cafe mom can tell you how to feel about a man you say you have known for 25 yrs. Yet how well do you really know him or anybody for that matter? I don't put anything pass anybody. Life has taught me that. Most things of a sexual nature especially like what you speak of with your friend are taboo. So they are not going to just openly share that with anyone so how would someone know? If you don't want to believe it wait for the evidence.

    Answer by my2kids312 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • If it was someone I really really knew....I would assume they were innocent until proven guilty but keep my kids away from them just in case.

    Answer by heatheryn at 5:23 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • My husband has a friend like that. But we believe he didn't do anything. It was possession of child porn, but we believe they were his brothers and he took the rap because his brother had things going real good for him. I just choose not to leave my kids with him for any reason cuz it doesn't look good, and... well.. just in case.

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 5:25 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • theres lawyers ,doctors teachers and dentist doing crud like this.Being known for being nice is the main target/weapon in a child molester.Maybie he is innocent maybie he is not either way be on high alert when it comes to your babies near him.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Let me put it to you this way: Would it change your friendship? If so, wait and see what the evidence is. But, this is a pretty serious charge, it can't have come out of nowhere so I would be careful.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:42 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I would not let him around my kids. As to innocent until proven guilty, in most cases I think that is the best view, but in cases like these where children could be in danger, the children's innocence is more important to me than anyone else's.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • depends on who is doing the accusing.could be someone trying to get back at him for something.
    But I would want lots of details on the matter before I decided anything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • yes I believed my friend was guilty once I heard about the news. he was charged with sex with a minor (she was 11, he was over 18), and probably sexual assault. He was always very sexually active and a little "out there". I can't remember all he was charged with but I know one was house arrest. He is currently single, has 2 kids and he seems to be a loving father. the mother isnt that girl (thank goodness). We spoke on facebook and he seems to have definately learned his lesson and grew up.

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 6:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2010