Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

TMI- to be or not to be a V?

I know someone who bragged for years that she was a v*rgin when she got married-turned out that the only uncharted territory left on her body on the wedding night was her v*rgina.
as far as this gal goes personally, I don't care what she did/does.
but I call people like her 'webster's dictionary virgins' - only technically a virgin, though sexually active.
what does anyone else think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I think it is a big deal to be a virgin because its something most of us don't have the discipline or modesty to do. I think in the scientific sense yes she was a virgin. But in the spiritual sense thats not something she can be overly proud of. She didnt abstain from sexual immorality which is the point of being celibate. Saving your entire body for your spouse.

    But in the end it doesnt matter what we think!!

    Answer by MamaChamp at 5:33 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • You mean like the girls who do anal but try to keep their hymen in tact? Her body, her choice.

    Anyone who brags about his or her virtue isn't very virtuous. There is more character in humility.

    Answer by ecodani at 5:34 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • OP- yeah, I know it's her body and her choice I wondered what the overall opinions were.

    but she's still mad at me- she would proudly bring it up over and over and I always wondered why. Going as far as calling me a slut. Then one day she let it slip as to what she had actually done before the wedding night. out of surprise I started to laugh and called her a 'webster's dictionary virgin' - didn't realize back then how seriously she actually took it all.
    think what really made her mad was that her husband was laughing too- got the impression that he had said the same thing I did............

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I agree with mamachamp. You can claim to be a virgin but not a good girl. To me virgin is never touched in any sexual way,and the man has not seen you naked or performed sexual acts and ofcourse you havent either on him.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 5:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • op what did she do before marriege?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • OP-TMI- from what I've heard gave and received oral, heavy petting, not sure about an*l, but has hinting that she did it. Not sure if it was before or after the wedding.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • OP-not really sure why she cared so much about it either way, but she has made it very clear that the fact that she had never had actual v*rginal interco*rce before the wedding night was the only thing that mattered, and meant that she had much higher moral standards than women like me.
    the ironic part is that our FIL and stepMIL made many comments about how refreshing it was that her husband was marrying such a 'wonderful girl' and made it clear that they were disappointed that I was not like her. Now they admit that they feel differently - seeing that my DH has a wife that is less inhibited and likes to indulge in healthy experimentation. While my SIL makes it clear how shocked and appalled she is with my attitude-
    my FIL has stated that he's worried about them-
    not that wedding night virgins can't have good s*x lives, but my SIL worries me.
    BIL comes off as VERY bored.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • virginity? omg that's been so long ago I don't remember what it even means!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Well, her body her choice, right?

    My man and I waited two years before having sex, but we did oral during most of that time (never anal, though). I always considered myself a virgin.

    Answer by Mousuke at 7:36 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • In my opinion Virginity is more by way of the mind then the body, If a woman does everything but let a penis enter her vagina, she may be still techncially "concidered" a virgin, but I wouldn't put her in that catagory. to me the whole idea of being a virgin is done for once anyone touches you sexually..

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 8:19 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.