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i feel like sex is all i'm good for

cuz even when i dont want it and he wants it, he just gets it. i mean, i push him off me, do the kegal so i get supertight, but his response is to just spit on his hand, rub it on himself and keep trying. thats it. i dont get any type of other love and the love that i DO get- its not love. at least, i dont feel like it. my emotions arent into it - but i also know my sex drive went down... but if i felt wanted and if he wasnt talking to his ex (just on FB, as friends- she lives in a different state- although he is planning on visiting her, without telling me), then maybe i would feel a little loved.. but i dont.

i just want to be held, rather than fucked. why cant i be loved too?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Mar. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Oh my, this is not good. You need to tell him exactly what you told us. You're not a receptacle for his sperm my dear so TELL him or move on. Not a great idea he's talking to the ex either. You do deserve better.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:27 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like you have a cheating, inconsiderate dog for a husband. I wouldn't put up with it. My husband isn't very affectionate, but he would never plan on visiting an ex behind my back, and when we have sex it's equally about his pleasure and mine. Quit allowing that. If you don't want sex, explain to him why "because I don't feel loved, I feel like you only want me for sex" and DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM. He's not meeting your needs, you have no obligation to meet his. You need to communicate your feelings with him, talk it out, and he needs to stop going behind yoru back and being an inconsiderate prick.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:29 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • It would not be okay in my book for my man to visit his ex in another state. He also needs to learn other ways to show you affection besides sex! That would just make me feel dirty! Honestly, he's not even worth it, and you are a GEM! Don't even let a man bring you down like that, there are decent ones out there that will wait until YOU are ready! Don't forget, you are PRECIOUS! He can't change that.

    Answer by Amber211 at 11:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • he doesnt even know i know about his plan to go visit his ex. i know as of right now- he's not cheating on me. i want to see if he does take that vacation, if he does make more plans to go see her and visit and all that other stuff. i just cant help thinking that if he wants to see her/visit her so much, maybe he wants her more than me? maybe when he does F me, its just cuz he's imagining that i'm the ex gf of his...? i dont want to tell him to NOT talk to her cuz i respect that they do/did have a FB friendship, but the plan on him visiting her, with no regards to how i will feel about it... it just feels like everything i felt before (about him wanting her more) confirms it.

    i also feel like its my duty/obligation to please him in any way possible. even tho i dont want it and afterwards, i practically cry cuz maybe there will be cuddling after- there's not... and its my duty to keep him happy. apparently i suck at it tho.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • This is disgusting I would never allow a man to have sex with me if i didnt want to and there is such thing as marital rape you know. Do not allow yourself to be treated as meat. You are allowing him to do this.

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 11:39 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • I think we have the same guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • lol wouldnt that suck, Anon :41?

    i dont think its marital rape, cuz i know part of me not wanting it is my sex drive is gone, and a man has needs... plus mid-way through, i'm all about it as well. i think thats when i hype myself up- like maybe if i do it good enough, we can cuddle afterwards. ha but it never happens.

    i just cant say no to him. could you say no to your DH when he wants something really bad? eh- maybe you could. i cant tho.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Mar. 30, 2010

  • i understand yu. I feel like tht at times . i just want him to hold me and nt gt horny. i want to be kissed sometimes. i do enjoy the sex but sometimes i jus dnt feel lke it. when i try to tell him he thinks i'm just being funny. His sex drive is high ans sometimes I just can't get there. Sometimes he thinks he don't turn me on but its not true. idk just know i understand.

    Answer by Chelsz101 at 12:33 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Dude, WHY WOULD YOU ALLOW HIM TO TALK TO A WOMAN HE IS PLANNING TO MEET BEHIND YOUR BACK?! OBVIOUSLY he is planning on cheating on you. That is OBVIOUS. The intent makes him as guilty as the deed. I understand not wanting to say no, but he's a serious dog, and you need to stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself. Quit being a doormat! Leave the asshole before he gives you MORE reason to.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • hmm thats kinda gross, the spits on his hand part....anyhoow stick up for urself and tell him wth? is he thinking going to see his ex gf. thats money he can be spending with his family.

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 1:02 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

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