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How do i explain to my 2 year old daughter her daddy is deployed??

she is always asking for daddy and looking for him when she dont find him she sits and crys

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Asked by Mrs.Rod_milwife at 6:41 AM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (13)
  • at 2 all you can really say is Daddy is away and he'll be back when you are bigger. Keep telling her he loves her, he misses her and he is away at work and will be back as soon as he can. There is no way you can explain deployment, especially this young just call it work and say he'll be home as soon as possible

    Answer by myheartx4 at 6:47 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I know this is hard. There isn't really a way to explain and make her be okay with it. But she will get used to it. Children are very resilient. Take care...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • thank you i tell her he went bye bye and he will be back when he calls she takes the phone from me and refuses to give it back she goes my daddy! and when we web cam i try to invole her as much as possible

    Answer by Mrs.Rod_milwife at 7:05 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • My husband deployed when our son was 2 and I told him that daddy had to go away for work so that he could fight the bad guys and to help people that needed it. I also explained to him about the sun/moon. When we saw the sun, then that meant daddy was sleeping. When it was dark out and we saw the moon, that meant that the sun had to go where daddy was so that it could help him to see to do his work. There are many ways to help her cope. I got my son a daddy doll and it really helped. He is 5 now, daddy is home, and he still sleeps with it from time to time. Also, have her take part in sending care packages. Let her make a picture, decorate the box, pick out toys for daddy, and take it to the post office to mail it. Cont..


    Answer by JeremysMom at 7:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Cont.. Another idea is to gather up all the pictures you can with daddy and her or just daddy. Buy a small photo album, put the pictures in there and let that be hers. When she really misses daddy, go through the photo album with her and talk about daddy/ the pictures. Will/Does he have the Internet in his room? If so, then you can get a program called Skype. It will allow you to see his other and talk over the Internet. You will both have to have computer cameras for this. If you don't then you can get them at Wal-mart for about $25-$50 each. If you have not already, join one of the military groups on here. They have tons of ideas to pass the time, make the deployments easier on children, and many have lists of themed boxes to send.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 7:44 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I agree with jeremysmom! My daughter turned 2 the day after her daddy deployed and my second daughter was only 2 weeks so I understand completely what your going thru. But I was able to explain to my daughter that daddy was deployed she even learned to say Afghanistan and would point out every soldier in Walmart and say look mommy a soldier like daddy lol! The daddy dolls definitely help and what helped the most was when my husband came home for r&r we got both girls a build a bear with his voice in it so they could hear him whenever they want! My husband has been home 3 months and my daughter still sleeps with it! If you ever want to talk PM me!

    Answer by lovie04256 at 7:55 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I agree with Jeremysmom and lovie! Something else you can do, if you haven't already is contact Military One Source (you can look them up online), or go to your Family Service Center and ask about the free Sesame Street DVD that helps with this (Elmo's Daddy deploys).

    Include your little one in making care packages. I would recommend that you not just say that Daddy had to go bye bye, or that you say he had to go to work or anything like that, because I've known a LOT of people that's had it backfire, because then whenever anyone went bye bye, or went to work, they freaked out, because they thought that meant deployment. It's ok to say "Daddy had to deploy. That means Daddy is going to be gone for a very very long time. He still loves you, and he misses you, just like we miss him.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:17 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • cont
    you can also add to it, when you're talking about it -

    "It's ok to be sad that Daddy is gone, but he'll be back ___ (then say something like, after it's summer and it gets really cold again, or something like that). But, how about we draw daddy a picture (or make him some cookies, or whatever) so we can send it to him?

    Also, I don't know if you let your little one have any candy or anything, but you can also fill a big jar with Hershey's kisses, and tell your lo that it's from Daddy. Every day, they can have a kiss from Daddy. You can add more to the jar, so that it never runs out - and you can tell your little one that when the jar is empty, then that means it's time for Daddy to come home. When it gets close to homecoming, stop adding to the jar, so you can count like "see, 5 days til Daddy comes home..."


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:23 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Also, I don't know if you've seen anything on this or if you're planning on doing it or not, but something that the military offers and that a lot of deployed service members get to do is they can record themselves reading books on tapes and dvds and send them home for the kids. Even if he can't do that where he is (though you would be surprised at some of the places they can do this), if he has a camera, he can record himself, or have a buddy do it, and he can send you the tape and the book, so you can sit with your lo and look at the book and watch Daddy read the story.

    Also, as they said, the Daddy dolls are great!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:26 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • My dh was deployed from bith until my dd was 8 month old so she didn't really notice, she's now almosed 3 and he's TDY for long periods of times often and she'll ask for him a couple of times every day. I usually just tell her that daddy is at work and that it will take awhile until he comes home, I also have her call him on his cell every night a couple of minutes.

    Answer by stpalmsgirl at 8:44 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

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