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When do they calm down?

My son is 20 months and still as wild as he's ever been. I know it's normal for toddlers to run around and get into everything when they first learn to walk and be independent but it's been almost a year! It just seems like most other kids his age are starting to calm down and at least LISTEN by now. Mine is still all over the place. Is this still normal? When do they start to "calm down"?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • 26.

    Seriously: you have an active, normal and healthy boy. They're different from passive, normal and healthy boys. They don't tend to stop being themselves at any point, but do sometimes manage to figure out how to use up their energy without being tremendously disruptive to everyone on the planet all the time they're awake by the time they're adults.

    Before then, it's a good idea to structure life in a way that appreciates their energy and engagement in the world: plan for several outdoor explorations every single day, and expect roaring around, jumping and running and lifting and throwing and digging and moving. Boys like this LOVE their strengths and their bodies' abilities, and trying to fit them into the 'quiet, bookish girl' mold is not only disrespectful, it drives them NUTS, making their behaviour considerably more disruptive.

    If you have a yard, get a truckload of sand delivered and give him a shovel and a bucket.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:32 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • LMAO! Sorry, have to laugh because I've been waiting for my son to calm down for 10 years,lol.
    From birth to the age of 1, I have to say he was a little adorable,sweet angle. Then he turned into a toddler. I kept gritting my teeth,smiling and baring with it and prayed for the next stage to come so he would be out of the current one...only to find out..the next stage was worse!! LOL.
    He's my little booger. 110%, never going to settle down and just relax boy.
    Learn to just fall inlove with his personality, pray and hope for the best and'll see what to expect,lol.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:43 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • They're supposed to calm down?

    Answer by Slinkee at 11:44 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • lol,mine never did really and he's about to turn 9!

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 11:45 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I think by listen you really mean obey. Your child isn't obeying you because you don't have the parenting skills you need. Punishment doesn't work, psychologists know this. Parenting based on punishment is called authoritarian and is ineffective. Kids that are punished have behavior that gets worse, they sneak, they lie, they have tantrums, you can't take them places because they don't behave, and they resent you.

    Punishment never teaches good behavior. Spanking, popping, tapping, pinching, biting, time-outs, taking things away, and taking things like TV time away are all punishments that I have heard moms on cm telling other moms that they should do. There are all things not to do.

    Learn positive parenting skills. Read books, Take classes, Join groups, Go to conferences, Go to college. Go online. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is a good first book.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:52 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • the HELL do you know that she doesn't have the parenting skills that she needs? You are so rude. Get a life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Anon :57 - thank you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Gailll- authoritarian parenting is parenting in which the parent expects strict obedience enforced by power rather then reasoning.
    Authoritative parenting (which in OUR society is viewed as the most desireable)- is when the parent's set limits and boundries but engage in a warm loving democratic style of parenting.
    *Psychologists and family therapists (I'm in grad school for marriage and family counciling with my BA in Human development) recommend positive and negative reinforcement (aka punishment) positive reinforcement encourages behaviors and negative reinforcement discourages them. The big picture is to teach the child that actions have consequences.

    (the reason this is annon is because I don't want any unsolicited advice or opinions in my pm box...*ahem* gailll

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • *PP here, sorry if that got a little off topic, anyways OP, your son sounds fine and normal, try and find activites that expend his energy without using up all of yours. Play places are great, you can sit with a book while he runs around. When you're trying to get him to listen, pick your battles, you can try using more specific words besides "no" try danger, freeze, that sort of thing, and try to praise good behavior as much as possible. As a final note keep in mind what you're expecting of him and what state he is in...i.e if he just woke up from a nap and is full of energy, don't take him anywhere that requires him to sit still, go to the park then the store..anyways GL, try and keep yourself as healthy as possible, it will help you keep up with him

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Mar. 31, 2010