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threesum

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months and he has brought up wanting a threesum. I would like everyones honest opion on this becuase I dont know what to think about this. He said if I don't want to we don't have to but I know he does and I want to make him happy. The girl would be one of my friends and I know I wouldn't be friends with her after that. I don't know what to do becuase I want to make him happy but I worry about this. I know I need to talk to him but I dont know how to word my feelings to him about this.
I don't really want to do this. To be honest, the thought of him sleeping with another girl makes me cry and feel very sick to my stomach. I do on the other hand want to make him happy. I just don't know how to feel.

Has anyone done this? What was the outcome? Any advice would be great thank you very much

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • It will ruin your friendship with her...and your relationship with him. It will eat away at you every day...and the fact you only been with him for 6 months...honey, that's not a long time at all...I've been with my man for 2 years...and thats not even a long time. You're not ready for that,and if you already know you don't really want to ... its a bad idea. Some people can handle it. People who have strong relationships, and are okay with watching their SO be touched, and touch another woman. Can you handle that? I don't think you could. If you want to drive yourself crazy thinking about it all the time after the fact, then go ahead...but I don't think you could handle it, and i think it would ruin everything ,i think it's a bad bad bad idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Just be honest. "I understand you want to do this, but I don't honestly think I can handle it. I think I would be too jealous and it would not only affect our relationship, but my friendship with her. I'm sorry." If it's a dealbreaker for him, then you're better off without him anyway.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 1:11 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I have had a threesome with my DH and one of my best friends.
    Her and I are still friends. And DH and I are still married.
    I would do it again, it was alot of fun for us all.
    You have to have alot of trust in your boyfriend and your friend. If you dont have trust and then it could ruin your friendship and relationship. Many people dont handle it well after they had a threesome.
    I dont think it is a good idea for you since you have only been with him for 6 months....me and my dh had been together for 10 years and I have known my friend for 15 years. Good Luck to you whatever you decide
    hisblueeyes

    Answer by hisblueeyes at 1:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Sweetheart, if this is the way this man thinks, show him to the door of your life and nail it shut. What he is asking you to do has nothing to do with love or anything even closely akin to love. He is using you to try something that you will very likely regret for the rest of your life. It's not worth it, and he's not worth it. If you ever needed a reason to ditch a boyfriend, you have got it. You have been dating him for 6 months and he has the nerve to suggest such a thing as this? When I had been dating my husband for 6 months, we had never even discussed sex, much less had it or thought of anything remotely as stupid as this is. Here's how you tell him: " I have made a huge mistake here. I believed that you cared about me for who I am and that perhaps I even held a special place in your heart. I can see that I have been deceived and am therefore ending this relationship. I will be much more careful in the future."
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • If you have any doubts at all, don't do it. It will affect your relationship with both of them, permanently. If he really cares about you and is someone you should be with, he will understand and respect your wishes. If he still really "needs" the 3-sum, he's not the right guy for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • It could ruin either relationship. I never did that with someone I had feelings for...it's hard to watch him enjoy someone else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I see the answer written all over your question. It is something that isn't for you. Don't do it. BOTH of you have to WANT to do it and BOTH of you have to WANT it for the right reasons, not just to make the other person happy. It's a lifestyle that isn't for everyone. If he has a problem with your answer then he is not the one for you.

    Turn the tables on him. Tell him you will give him his 3some if he promises to give you your MFM 3some as well.. (Not saying you want that or would do it) but that could open his eyes and put things in perspective for him a bit.
    Melindakc

    Answer by Melindakc at 1:31 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • A true strong commitment between 2 people doesn't include another person. When something like that comes into play it means someone isn't getting enough.. Or they don't have any self control. If he's willing to put your relationship at risk doing this, and hurting you in the process, then IMO he's not being honest with you and you will never be able to trust him with your heart. I think it's a sign of things to come.. Don't risk getting hurt.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:55 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • My hubby would definitely not approve. Esp. not..............
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • As much fun as it sounds on paper (or in porn) the fact is that there is a person in that other body, it's not a mannequin. It might be convenient to pretend that no one would be jealous or feel left out or take any meaning away from... but it's incredibly unrealistic.

    As the joke goes: when he can't satisfy one woman, why would he think pissing two off would be better?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:57 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

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