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What would you do if your s/o insisted that you go to church?

I am going to try to explain this to the best of my ability...
I am not a church-going person. I believe in god, was raised Catholic, but dont feel that I need to go into a building with a bunch of other people to worship just like them. I can worship in my own way. (This is my belief, and opinion.) When I met my husband, he knew I was this way, and understood it. He used to go to church every Sunday (before I met him) but then around the same time I met him he got a different job in a retail where his schedule changes every week, and most of the time he has to work on Saturday night or Sunday mornings and night. So he couldnt go to church. Now it just so happens that he has off on Good Friday and on Easter, and wants the whole family, including me, to go to church. I really dont want to go, but he really really really wants us all to go........

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (26)
  • If it's just one day and it's important to him I would do it. Marriage is about compromise. Unless you are like 100% super outrageously against it I don't see why you can't do it for him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I'm the same way. I am a non-practiced christian I guess. But there are occasions that he will ask me to go to church with the family, mothers day, christmas show, stuff like that. And I will go, even though I don't want to. I don't know why but all the ppl, I just feel awkward, but I suck it up once in a while for him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I'd go, especially if it was important to him. Walking into a church doesn't mean that I have to believe or will belief...

    Answer by anetrnlov at 1:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Laugh and laugh and laugh.

    Seriously, my dh doesn't have a deathwish. Not only does he NOT want me sitting next to him in any church, because I really would not stop laughing at inappropriate moments, he also has no delusions about what I believe and no hope of ever changing my mind.

    How incredibly invasive and disrespectful. Ask him if he'll attend Ramadan rituals with you at the local Muslim temple... and then point out that the question is THE SAME, even if his religion has a special 'but it's mine, so that's different' clause.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:46 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • (original poster).....I have four children, ages 9 yrs old, 6 yrs old, 21 months old, and 6 months old. The nine and six yr old I am sure will behave in church, but I have my serious doubts about the babies, especially the toddler. He doesnt sit still for five minutes at a time! And I dont think the church has a cry room for babies or anything like that.

    And then there is also the fact that I dont have any nice clothes to wear to church so that I can fit in with everyone else, my clothes that are like that are still too small due to having the baby weight on me still.

    All of that being besides the point, I am really not wanting to go. What do you think?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • If it's just one day and it's important to him I would do it. Marriage is about compromise. Unless you are like 100% super outrageously against it I don't see why you can't do it for him.


    Answer by rhanford at 1:49 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • If it was important to my husband, I would attend. The music at my child's piano recital is not the best, but I'll go and listen because I want to support my child and it means I can sped time with my family sharing a common experience. And if you feel you can worship anywhere - they why not at a church for one day? Spending time together as a family even if 's at a church service, isn't a horrible thing. If you can't/won't worship there you can still be respectful, enjoy the readings, the music, reflect on whatever you want and just be supportive of your husband.

    Answer by eringobrough at 1:53 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I'm not Christian at all. But I have told my DH if it were ever really important to him that I were there for celebration or holiday service that all he had to do was ask. My DH hasn't been in a church the entire time I've known him, but he is Christian. I see it as a simple matter of respect for his beliefs and nothing else. However, if you don't want to go, tell him that. He should have just as much respect for you not to push the matter.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:09 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • If it was really important to my spouse, I would go. I don't think you should try and make someone, or guilt them into going to church. However he isn't trying to get you to go all the time. The choice is yours, but sometimes we do things because it's important to our spouse.

    My husband goes to church with me, I know he probably wouldn't go if I didn't go, but he never says anything about not wanting to go. The fact that he goes anyway, without trying to make me feel bad or like he is being put out makes me appreciate him even more. Of course I return the favor, I don't know how many flea markets I've gone to, but I hate them all, and the sci-fi shows I've sat patiently through even though I have no interest.....what can I say it must be love.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:10 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I am a non-Christian... and my dh tho he doesn't attend, has wondered if I would go with him on certain occasions and I politely told him yes I would... being in a Church will not make me change my beliefs and I have told him this often enough...
    Maybe you can find out before going to Church if there is a cry room... if not take a crafty/goodie bag for the toddler... pack it with snacks, crayons, paper, books, etc...

    Answer by gmasboy at 2:13 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

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