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10 year old son gets $75 in birthday money...and we are battling because

I won't let him spend it right now. I think money burns holes in his pockets and he need to learn how to think about what he buys before he goes off and just buys whatever and wastes his money.

Also, he wants to buy more TOYS and I say NO because he has a ton and his room is a disaster area and I say NO more toys until he learns to take care of the ones he has.

He just smartly said back to me,"Well its MY money" and I said, "Well, I'm your MOM and what I say goes."
He didnt like that to well and stomped off to bed.
Am I wrong? What should I do in this situation?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would sit down with him and have a short talk about money management and then come to a joint decision about how much he should save vs spend right now. My 8 and 10 year olds have savings accounts at the local credit union and they love seeing the interest they get from having their money there! My kids know that they must save at least half of all money they get to go into their account (this includes allowance and gift money), sometimes they choose to save more. Once it goes in the savings account it does NOT come out, so some they choose to keep in their wallets in case they find something they want.
    The savings account is designed to buy half of their car when they decide to buy one, we will match whatever funds they have. They know this and we've talked about how much used cars cost and what they need to shoot for in savings. I think teaching money management is an important skill a lot of parents overlook.

    Answer by missanc at 9:03 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Does he have a savings account? If not, go to a bank and set one up for him. I like taking the 3 cups perspective for money. 1 cup to spend, 1 cup to save, and 1 to donate to charity (or used to buy something for charity). That way he gets to spend some of it, but not all of it will be gone immediately. Plus, it's never too young to learn the importance of giving to others, IMO.

    Answer by indymom22 at 9:12 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I understand where your coming from but I think because its his b-day money you should let him spend it. Any other time I agree with saving it.

    Answer by 3beautbabies at 9:16 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Well it is his money that he got for his birthday. It was intended for him to buy himself a gift that he would want. So if that is a toy it's a toy. He should be allowed to spend at least some of it on something he wants. I do see your point too however. There's gotta be a compromise somewhere. You do what you feel is right as a parent. When my kids get money I let them spend it. That is what the person who gave it intended for them to do. They do know however they can't buy a pet of any kind and that I will not chip in any extra above the amount they have.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:16 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • He was given the money instead of a gift, but if he had been given the gift, you wouldn't be able to prevent him from playing with it unless you take it from him too.

    As for the broken toys....make him clean them up and trash them. Make him sort through and select some toys to give to Salvation Army/Goodwill.
    As for savings....If our children choose to save any of their birthday money, we match it. They save $10, we put in $10; they put in $20, we put in $20; etc.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I have to agree with previous was his money, in lieu of a gift, that is what they sent him. I would recommend that you see what he wants to buy....and then tell him that this weekend...or sometime before he buys the stuff, he has to go through his current toys and box them up. Anything he currently plays with can stay, anything he has outgrown, donate to goodwill. That way, he gets a new toy, he is 10 after all, but he's not adding to the pile. And...a side note...if he's spending his own money on the item, maybe he will take better care of it.

    Answer by clhadley at 9:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I would make him save it or at least monitor what he buys. There is no way I would let my 10 year old go to the store with $75. I like what clhadley said about making him go through his toys and get rid of ones he doesn't play with.


    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 9:41 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • When I give children cash for their birthday it is so they can go buy what they want with it.
    How would you feel if someone gave you cash to go and get what you want with it and someone told you you could not??
    Give him his money, he is 10 years old, he can learn about money in the next few years, let him be a kid and get the toys he wants. Thats what the cash was for, not for mommy to control

    Answer by hisblueeyes at 9:58 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • While I understand where you are coming from, your son is right. It is his money. Instead of putting your foot down and turning this into a battle of the wills, maybe you could see it as a chance to discuss your values and your concerns with your son. Maybe you could brainstorm together and come to a decision on how to best use his money. As part of the discussion, you might also share your concerns about adding more toys to his already full room. Maybe you could agree to go through his toys together, get rid of the ones he's outgrown or no longer plays with, and make room for that special new toy (or toys) he wants.

    Answer by jessradtke at 10:03 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Sounds like you're a little confused about who the gift was given to.

    Answer by LindaClement at 10:33 PM on Mar. 31, 2010