Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters) the bedroom...

How do you do it?
How do you keep from feeling dumb/silly?

I want to do something 'new' in the bed room, and not sure what to do. I'm not comfortable in 'sexy little lingeray' (i'm 30lb overweight) and I don't like positions where my extra weight. . .jiggles.

We've tried toys, but I don't like the feeling of him using one on me....its just weird having him watch. lol

p.s. we've been married for 6 years. . .so it is a serious relationship lol

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • My feelings on that is if you really have to resort to anything outside the norm, something is wrong in your marriage and/or relationship. Normal people do not have to make up stuff, use toys, get others involved. It's not a matter of achieving the best feelings from sex, it's about expressing your love and devotion to your partner. I think most of you young girls are so confused about this. You are not brought into the world to be used as someone's sexual pleasure device. You are worthy of a loving, stable relationship from a man or otherwise. You do not have to lower yourself to something like this. Girls wake up. It's about love... not lust, not sex!!!! sheez..................

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • *OP*
    thank you for your two cents. BUT I am asking because I have NO sex drive, there for I am trying to spice it up so that I might be able to get in the mood more for him. He is very understanding because we just had our third child. I love him, and am very attracted to him. BUT my drive is just not there.

    Thank you for your judgment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I think its a GREAT idea to freshen up your romance with introducing new thing in the bedroom! In fact, its more of a sign of a happy, health, EXCITING and likely long lasting relationship! Its important to communicate and be able to keep things exciting - for both men and women! So many people stray from the relationship theyre in because of the fact that time, kids, work, LIFE take a toll and we get stuck in a routine thats more like a job! :) You are certainly on the right track!


    Answer by AthenasbySara at 11:45 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I'm not sure if youre in the MA/NH area but I am the owner of Athenas by SARA, I can empower you to have a more satisfying sex life with the knowledge and empowerment you will gain by hosting / attending an Athena’s Party.

    Athena’s parties are FREE (in fact you earn free products just for hosting a party!) and is held in a the privacy of your home where you and your guests can view, sample and purchase sensuous products in a safe environment – a place where they can feel comfortable talking about products that they may be unfamiliar with and become more informed about products that may have been considered “bad or dirty” in the past, simply because of the “dirty book stores” that carried them. Orders will be taken in a separate room from the presentation and will be COMPLETELY
    DISCREET AND CONFIDENTIAL~!! I would LOVE to talk more with you if you are interested :) Sar

    Answer by AthenasbySara at 11:59 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Anon 18 <~~~ AHH hahhahahahaha REALLY?... Well dang i'd hate to be a fly on the wall in your bedroom. I'd die from boredom.

    Dh and I roll play (been together 8 years now). Things became very routine in the bedroom and it was time to spice things up. We've switched things up and let me be in charge. I have handcuffs, straps, gags and hell you name it we got it. Our sex life has NEVER been better. And the fact that we have NOT lost ourselves in it all shows how much love we really have there. Sometimes he'll tie me up and something stupid will come out of his mouth "Now get over here and do your job"... How i'm tied up LOL we'll sit there and laugh for a good 10 minutes.

    There are lots of ways besides role playing and toys. As far as lingerie. There are websites catering to full figure women. I've bought a few things from a select few.

    Good luck!!!

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 4:59 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • 4xthetrouble, have you and your husband gone over the protocols for what happens should he have a massive coronary while you're tied to the bed? That'd be just great for the kids to walk in on: Mom's naked and tied down and Dad's dead on the floor dressed in a Mountie costume. So while you're blowing your cash on strap-ons, flavored lube and fat-girl thongs, be sure and put some aside for the years of therapy it would take to undo that kind of damage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Anonymous 22:
    SERIOUSLY?!?! what are the chances of that happening? and why are you such a stick in the mud? obviously your one of those people that dont do anything fun because of how negative your attitude is. There is a risk in everything you do in life. Loosen up a bit and stop raining on peoples parades! if you want to be dull and boring (and you know you are) then keep it to yourself!

    OP: I say go for it! I'm in the same boat as you and I dont have much of a sex drive. My husband could have sex 4 times a day if I was as active as him. So I try to do things to spice things up too to show my effort to pleasing him. Because I love him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Trying new things in the bedroom isn't a "necessity", it's fun. You know, the stuff you used to have before you became so judgemental & boring.
    Don't listen to boring idiots. Having fun in the bedroom is what it's all about. Get a little crazy. Go for the handcuffs, if that's what you & he like. There are all sorts of costumes, not just slutty maid/slutty cheerleader/slutty schoolgirl. You can find something that lets your inner and outer beauty shine. Some corsets have tummy panels and come down to cover the thighs. Just check around while you're not reading about how weird you must be.
    My husband & I do lots of things I won't go into here, we've just found things that work for us. The point is you have to take that first step, where do your fantasies usually take you? Where do his fantasies take him. It can be difficult--my husband says he fantasizes about me, but I need a little more so we mix it up a bit.

    Answer by Mary0791 at 2:14 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • And, to the idiot who thought the husband may have a coronary--get a life. If you don't already know, the handcuffs consenting adults use in the bedroom are NOT police cuffs. They have escape buttons or, if velcro, can easily be pulled off.

    OP--just talk to the husband. Be honest and respectful. You will figure it out.

    Answer by Mary0791 at 2:16 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Wow! There are some crazy, negative people on here! I think that's done just to stir the pot. Don't listen to that crap OP. I think it's great that you're willing to do new things and trying new things to keep your sex life fun and healthy. A lot of people wouldn't, and they just get stuck in a rut, and then wonder why they can't connect with their partner.

    Unfortunately, I don't have much advice. I have a good sex drive, but I am always trying to make sure things are fun and exciting and do not get tiresome. I have not really role played, so I'm kinda eager for all the advice too : )

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 2:29 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.