Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you ever think that it could be you? How does it happen when good people have troubled children?

I know quite a few parents of grown children who didn't turn out the way they expect them to. They're in rehab for drugs, eating disorders, involved in stealing and other illegal activities. These are good parents who seemingly made all the right choices. I know at some point our kids have their own free will and are responsible for their own choices, but I look at these families and I think "this could be me." I think I'm doing everything right, but what does that matter in this world? Sometimes I feel like all of these battles between FF v BF or co sleepers v CIOs are all a moot point. Sometimes no matter how hard you try you still end up with a bad apple. Does this keep anyone else awake at night? I mean, even America's most notorious mistress has a mother and a father somewhere.

Ugh, my brain is so tired.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Mar. 31, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (5)
  • I think that a person is born to be who they are and thats who they are going to be. You hope you give them the best tools to deal with life...but in the end, they already have thier own plan set out for them , whatever the reason may be.
    Or I could just be saying this cuz its the first thing I thought of and I'm hoping its true cuz my boy is turning into a lil butthead!! lol
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:34 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I say it's the little things that you never thought you were doing wrong. I know a ton of parents that thought they were doing the "right thing" but were doing the wrong thing for that particular child. I say if you try something and its not working don't do that anymore. If you see your child start to get into trouble fix right away, don't let it spiral out of control. Every child is different and needs to be reached in different ways so the things that got your neighbors kid off drugs might not work for yours. Give them enough freedom to grow but enough rules to keep them safe. Try and teach them how to think for themselves and do what's right no matter who is watching. Tell them that they're wonderful and you're proud of them 10xs more than you reprimand them. Make sure that even if it's not you they have someone to talk to that will give good advice. I think once you've done that you can't really worry about it too much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • I wouldn't call them a "bad apple", i think everyone makes mistakes- some worse thann others. Even the kids with great parents are not going to grow up to be perfect. You can only hope that your child learns from their mistakes and grows up to be a responsible person. I was far from perfect as a teen, and my parents did all they could, and I think I tuned out just fine- it just took awhile. Anyone who thinks their kids are "perfect" are in denial.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • Sometimes when I watch those true crime shows on tv they will be talking about a killer and show home video of when they were a child. They look all cute and innocent. It makes me think "could this happen to my child or someone I know?" It is a scary thought.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 10:42 PM on Mar. 31, 2010

  • It depends. If you ahve 4 kids and 3 started using rugs as teens, never went to school, dropped out, started having sex in their teen years, became teen parents, is in trouble with the law, etc. and 1 went on to college, stayed aeay from drugs and alcohol, etc. then it's a lack of parenting & a case off a child managing to do well in spite of a crappy life. If you have 4 kids and they all do well in school and graduate with honors, are never in any trouble & are all doing great and then 3 go on to college & have a great life map in front of them and 1 goes wild when they turn 18, doesn't go to college, gets in to drugs, gets in to trouble with the law. etc. then it is obviously the personal choice of that individual and has nothing to do with how they were raised. After a certain age....people make choices and it has nothing to do with their parents abilities.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN