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For parents with VERY strong willed kids....

What do you do?????!!!!!!! My daughter is 19 months old and I've tried all that redirection crap and DOESNT WORK!! She won't stay off the coffee table. I've thought about moving it out but that's not teaching her not to climb right?? She has already fallen off the ottoman at my moms house (onto carpet) and hit her head...she just doesn't learn...what do you do ?????

 
calliesmommie

Asked by calliesmommie at 1:32 AM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 22 (14,987 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • cont....I find that we really have to stick to a schedule, and keep him as active as possible. We are constantly outside, at the park, or doing something that will BURN as much energy as possible.
    Recently, I've been trying to make him a bit more independent by asking him to help me with things....cleaning by giving him a dry rag to help mama dust, or closing the dishwasher after I load it..it makes him feel like he's helping and he really does well with positive reinforcement...if I catch him "playing nicely" or NOT pulling the cat's tail then I go overboard and tell him how nice he is being and he really responds well to that. I also thank him for listening to me, when he does and maybe reward him with a jelly bean.
    Motherhood is a journey of making many mistakes, and learning from them. You're doing better than you think, so keep it up!
    Hopefully something I said will help in some way.
    Julians_Momma

    Answer by Julians_Momma at 9:07 AM on Apr. 6, 2010

  • My son is just like this you can redirect him all day long and all it does is make him mad and then he keeps going after it or doing whatever he isnt supposed to do. I dont know what you can do about it other then move stuff. I am looking forward to other answers people have on this.
    Newmommys101

    Answer by Newmommys101 at 2:13 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Im going to have to say that almost all toddlers are this way untill atleast 5... I have a 3yr old and a 16 month old who both do this kinda thing. They just dont ever learn when you tell them no even if they have already hurt themselfs a dozen times doing the.same thing. My 16 month old is always climbing on tje couch or our little tikes picnic table. I tell her no and slap her hand but it does nothing... Im not sure there is any help for this other then hope they dont get seriously hurt and keep correcting them each and everytime.
    Keaton_Hazel

    Answer by Keaton_Hazel at 7:55 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • All 5 of my girls were like that. The first thing you'll need to do to save your sanity is go WAY over board on the child proofing. Do it now before things get more complicated. (Trust me) Maybe go thought the whole house one weekend while grandma watches her. You will also want to child proof her bedroom, making it more like a giant playpen so you have a place to stick her when you need a short break. If she is truly strong willed she'll keep you running and regular playyards or gates will be climbed on in a couple a months. (if it's not already being done)

    continued.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • This is the kinda kid that needs to be active and involved in something as much as humanly possible. Take her to the park or have her run around the yard as often as you can. At home to keep her out of trouble and prevent fits by letting her follow you around all day and "help" you. While your doing things she can clean or dust with a rag, help pull clothes out of a dryer, help you pick toys off the floor, just get creative. I've had mine clean walls and "wash" dishes on the floor in a plastic tub surrounded by towels. They think this is fun. (mine did anyway)
    continued
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Yesterday I let my now 2 yr old "paint" my kitchen door with vanilla pudding. Yes, it was a mess, but it kept her busy and quite for 30 minutes and I got my work done. Cleaning the door took only 5 minutes.

    These kinda kids can be challenging, but if you allow them to feel included in everything and give them a say in small things ( green beans or corn for dinner) they are easier to handle. They are also happier.

    My strong willed girls keep me busy and drive me nuts daily, but they are also the most funny,loveable, intelligent and even with all the challenges it's worth it. Life would be way too boring without them. :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I removed all the tables - coffee table, end tables, etc. in my house when my oldest went through this stage because while he needed to learn rules, the most important thing was his safety.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:33 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • she's 19 months - not much will get through to her. she's exploring and growing.

    remove anything she can climb on

    OR let her climb, let her fall off, but DO NOT console her, just say in a calm voice "I told you not to do that, please don't do it again" she is only 19months so, it probably won't sink in. but in my experience - a few times taking a tumble they learned the lesson.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have a VERY strong willed child and found a GREAT Book.. its keeping me from losing my mind and looking at things differently. I just started reading it but I think its setting limits with your strong willed child.. I bought a couple more but just started this one.. and so far I love it.. I would suggest you find a book to LEARN to deal with this type of behavior - from what it sounds like, it will be a lifelong battle if we don't learn to understang this type of temperment and I know, I am NOT willing or wanting to fight and stress everyday and that's why I had to do something.. I felt totally overwhelmed and a tad resentful that MY child was SOOOOO hard to deal with when all you see around you is these well mannored kids that only need to be told one time and they are listening.. you start to feel like its your fault... I tried distraction and redirecting and toys out to eat but nothing was working..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:57 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • we had to stop going out to eat because he would NOT listen.. no matter what I tried or what we did.. I stopped being able to bring him to run errands because he was throwing fits and not staying by me.. this has all gotten WAY better now that I am learning about how strong willed children learn and how WE can learn together - good luck!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:59 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

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