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It bothers me that DH isn't jealous enough.....(Bisexual question)

So here goes, so I've been bisexual in my past, been with women, but am with a men. Well my DH works out of town & even if he didn't he's made it clear I'm allowed to have female lovers...I've yet to have any. And I do not plan on it. And no before you start wondering, he's never asked for a 3some, says they sound to exhausting to him to try to please to women. And he's never said "yeah you should and video tape it for me or can I watch" he just says he's no problems with me having a female lover. I HATE the fact he isn't jealous, the way I view relationships is if you're attracted sexually to certain types of either sex then it IS possible to fall in love if that person was giving you what you wanted (in bed) and then the relationship progressed into friends etc more. Am I over reacting?! I know, I guess the fact that he is bisexual and I'd have a problem with him doing a man it is what bothers me! SO I WANT him to be jealous

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Why do you want him to be jealous? Jealousy in a relationship is never a good thing.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 9:51 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • OP here: Not overly like crazy, psycho jealous, but letting me sleep with a women but not a man is silly since I'm attracted to BOTH. So why be jealous about a guy, but not a girl? Like I said I could have a relationship with either sex. So wouldn't that bother him if I'm sleeping with someone I could fall in love with? That's my point, i don't see women as just "sex objects" and have never been opposed to having a relationship with one. So thats why. I know if he was sleeping with men then I'd wonder if he'd eventually leave me if he had a close guy friend with benefits and deceided thats what he wanted.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • You want your husband to dislike and feel jealous at the thought of you being with another person, totally normal!
    I am not sure why your hubby is so ok with you seeking pleasure from another woman. You would think he would see faithfulness as not being with ANY BODY else regardless of gender. Odd.... ask him why it's ok and let us know!
    For the record I would be very very very bothered if this was my husband's attitude. It would make me feel like he didn't care enough about me....
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:14 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • he probably isnt jealous because he probably doesnt believe you would leave him for a woman ( but you would with a man) .... some people think like that.
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • i agree with glamomomo, he doesnt see a woman as a threat like he would a man. I would suggest sitting him down and explaining to him that a lover is a lover and his encouragement of you having one(any one) is making you feel he doesnt care if you sleep around.
    be honest and stop this whole thing. if you two love each other , just talk.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:18 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think it's awfully big of your hubby to say it's ok for you to be with another woman given it must be hard for him to want to share you with anyone at all. I am not sure how someone is supposed to respond when they married the person they love and know they also want to be with people of their same sex.

    Perhaps you feel like he doesn't love you enough since he's not jealous, but I think he's just trying to make you happy.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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