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Who is wrong???

My children husband and I live with my mother because she can not afford to keep her house with out us. She met a man who on their first and second dates was drunk. He has been convicted of 3 OUI's and Assault and battery on a police officer. She moved him into our home a week later. When I met him I got a very uneasy feeling. When I am around him I feel very nervous and if my children are around him it is even worse. He has lived her for a month. For the first week he got drunk twice, The second he got drunk 5 days. When he gets drunk he gets rude and disrespectful including smoking in the house which has never been allowed. She kicked him out and it took her 5 days from the time she told him to pack his things before she packed them and drove him home. He was moved back in the next day!!! That was 2 weeks ago. He has not been drinking that she knows about but he is an alcoholic, they can be sneaky. read multiple posts

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I still feel very uncomfortable around him. I get the pit in my gut and it makes me nauseous. I do not want my children around him and when she is alone with them she undermines my feelings on the situation. When he first moved in I expressed my concern for the situation in a respectful manner she refuses to even listen and tells me this is my house! my answer to that is it might be her house but it is supposed to be my home!! What do you think.

    Also she has picked a man who hated me before and for 19 years he disrespected me and treated me horribly. She has also had several abusive relationships and surrounded her children by people who abused them mentally, Physically and sexually. She has horrible judgement!

    What do you think?/

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Would you date someone who did not like your child?

    Is it the same for a child to not like the person a parent is dating as for a parent to not like who a child is dating?

    Would it matter if your child(older child) felt that this person was scary or even dangerous n?


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • what the hell?

    I dont care what your moms money situation is MOVE THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • mom out it isn't up to you to save her house at the expense of your family. your gut says he is no good listen to your gut
    mom2snsb

    Answer by mom2snsb at 11:50 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • if someone is in the house that makes you uncomfortable, then you need to get out
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:51 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • It may be difficult but the answer is clear, tell her that either he needs to go or you and your family will. Then start looking for a new place asap. You don't know this man, you don't trust him, your children should not be alone with him. Tahts almost impossible when you live together, but would you be able to forgive yourself if this man not only turns out to be a drunk but a child molester?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • If the house is hers--I would sit your mom down and tell her point blank that she has to make a choice, him or us. Tell her that you don't trust him, and you and your children do not want to be anywhere near him. Be firm and tell her that if he stays, you and your family will find your own place and you will move out- and once you are out of the house you will not ever move back. Also remind her that without your money she would have to move too, as she would not be able to afford to stay there either.
    If the house is yours---, then tell her that he has XXX days to get out, and if he does not leave you will call the police and have him removed from your home. If she wants to live with him then maybe she should move in with him.
    Good luck-- I hope things work out!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:05 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • your mom isnt very concerned about affording this house with your help now is she? as a pp stated sit her down and tell her either this man is gone, or she can pay her own way and you are moving.
    then do it. these are your kids and every warning bell you have is going off. moms who dont listen to their gut end upo with kids who ar4e hurt or worse. dont play games. you know what to do, you knew before you sat to post this...
    get your kids and yourself to a safe home. this isnt it.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:11 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I would tell your mom that you and your family are moving out if he stays. Period..... Your kids and their saftey should be put first.... Your mom can hit him up for money to help pay the bills if he is living their. You need to think Long and hard about your children and their saftey.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I agree with the replies, you either need to move out with your husband and kids or give your mom an ultimatum, I think it's great not only of you but your husband to agree to doing this for your mom, but it should never be at the expense of the safety of your family...not worth it. It this person means that much to your mom then perhaps he can start contributing to the household in your absence. good luck!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:25 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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