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13yr old dd on FB

Okay so here I go My dd just turned 13 and she asked to have a fb account so okay fine I know her friends there good girls. She had a sleep over and one of her friends put pictures of the sleep over on her fb page. One of the girls in the pictures doesn't have many friends so other kids on fb made really mean and disgusting sexual comments. My daughter is so up set but what were afraid of is if she upsets the girl that made all those really bad comments that she will go after my daughter. She just moved to my town the beginning of this year and she is 13 smokes drinks and has sex I am just glad that my dd isn't friends with her. So my question is Do any of you have children on fb and what would you do. I don't want to punish my dd for this by taking it away and I see everything that goes on her page because I B friended her and I also have her under one of my old e-mail accounts so that I can see everything. Help please.

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Asked by lee74 at 11:47 AM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't think kids that age should be on Facebook or MySpace. You are not punishing her by taking it away. You are protecting her. Just apologize and say you made a bad judgment by allowing it but now you realize it was a poor decision.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:54 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Erase all that was posted. And find out if there is a way to block that person from getting on your daughters page.

    BUT please please dont teach your child to be a victim. The idea that she will "go after" your daughter is wimpy. You need to teach her to stand up for what is right. That doesnt mean that she needs to start anything...ever. But she can not be afraid to take action to prevent this girl from posting simply because she is "afraid".  If the other girl is a little shit then avoid her... why did she have access to your daughters page if you knew what kind of child she is?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My son is 14 and has been on it for awhile. He gets to talk to his friends that are out of state. Just make sure she stays good and keep an eye on the page. She isn't friends with that girl and that is a good thing. Let her keep her page. If someone comments on her page, she can delete it. At least she knows that that girl is trouble. Maybe have your daughter befriend the girl that had the comments posted about her. No need to do anything to your daughter..she isn't the bad seed. And you cannot control the other kids. Having a FB page is definitely a popular thing to have and by her having one and you having access, you can know about all the girls at her school and know which ones to avoid at all costs. It's like a free pass into their world.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:59 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • She is my first teenager so this is new for me. Besides were in it now so I need help to figure out what to do with it.

    Answer by lee74 at 11:59 AM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • The comments were on her friends page that posted the pictures not my daughters page but when you are friends then you get to see everthing on there page as well No body has posted anything on her page. My daughter isn't wimpy she went to school and told her friend what it said and she reported the girl threw facebook. We just don't want this girl that we don't even know to start shit with my daughter.,

    Answer by lee74 at 12:04 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My daughter is really good friends with the girl the girl that had the comments posted about her.

    Answer by lee74 at 12:06 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My teenagers (13 year olds) both have FB & MS, it sounds like you are followin up on what they do, we randomly check their pages, if anyone leave anything inappropiate in their page it's taken down, we look at their friends page and they have inappropiate things we make the kids delete that person from their friend's list. This one I think is out of your control, your daughter is not friends with the girl that made the comments about her really good friend right? And the comments were not posted on your daughter's page right? Only suggestion would be for your daughter to approach the girl whose page the pictures were on and tell her that the comments were mean and ask if she could take them down, in order to avoid getting the girl's feelings hurt. Good luck with this.

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have a 13 yo dd with a FB also, I agree with the other moms. I would delete the pictures and the comments too. If the "mean" girl is a "friend" on FB, delete her too. This is a tough call. Girls at this age can really be b****s! I wouldn't take my dd page away because of this. But use it as a lesson about posting things on their pages.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 12:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Delete the post. Whether it's punishing your daughter or not, it's protecting her more than anything. People are cruel. Even on here, there are bullies. Not as bad as teens on myspace and facebook, but there have been many suicides caused by cyber bullying. The best bet is just to get rid of the page so she isn't even a target at all.

    Answer by clhadley at 1:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • So far, you are doing exactly what you should be doing. You monitor her FB page, you waited til she was 13 (FB age), before you let her have one.
    You daughter let the person who had the negative comments know AND she's reported the "mean" girl. Kudos to your daughter! IF the girl starts harrassing your daughter in school OR thru FB, keep track of everything. Report any FB abuse to FB directly and they can delete and then block her from using FB (they register her unique IP address) And thing at school, report to the school as most schools have a zero tolerance policy on bullying.
    There are ways to make sure that what is posted or viewed on FB are only viewable by friends. Poke around and make sure all your daughter's settings are set thus and if necessary, have your daughter block the mean girl.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:26 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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