Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would you do? i really need help

last week i found that my "fiance" was posting ads on craigslist for chicks to come meet him at his work and do dirty things in his office.... so i contronted him about it and we said that we would work threw it becuase he swore he never got a response from them and he never met any one and then that same night he left his e mail open and i found more then 1 converasation with girls from craigslist...

i have been with this man for 6 years.... would u be able to over look it????

Answer Question
 
JoshysMommy8809

Asked by JoshysMommy8809 at 12:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I wouldn't stay. It would be one thing if he was out at a bar and got a number after chatting up another girl. What he did, he really put some thought into. If you're not married to him, cut him loose. You deserve so much better than that!
    clhadley

    Answer by clhadley at 12:50 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • With all those lies, no, I couldn't do it. Especially since we weren't married yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Um, no. This is definitely not the first time he's done this! You think b/c he got caught it's the first time, yeah right! I'm sure he's done it and gone through with it already.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • IDK, what about the trust, it's been broken now, right?Did you know he was a sneeky person to begin with? I'd feel so hurt inside IDK if I could stay Or let him stay for that matter.Wow, what was his response to all this? Is he going to go to counciling?He's obviously got issuse, to do that behind your back.Oh wow, I'm sorry that you are going through this.It's just terrible, I think I'd move on.Trust is too big to me to stay, I'd always be looking over my shoulder.I can't live that way.Good luck, life does go on, & NOT all men are like that.
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 12:54 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Leave
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • id leave. hes going out of his way- i could see maybe if it was a woman wh he worked with and didnt mean to fall for- but hes LOOKING for a woman.
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 1:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I am so sorry that your going through this. Could you ever trust him again? Be honest with yourself. If you tried to work it out and for the most part things changed but somewhere down the line years later things get suspicious, will this be the event you think about in your mind?... If so then its best to call it quits. If you cannot forgive him and if he cant simply be honest then its best to let things go now before the lies become more compounded. The trust is already gone.

    I know for experience. I was the one talking to other ppl. Not about sex or anything but for the attention. I needed to be someones everything all the time and Dh had alot on his plate. He did not mean to put me on the back burner but he did so I sought out "love" somewhere else. I am thankful that he's come to trust me again and I know I would never put him through that again.

    I hope no matter your decision that it gets better for you.Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I would never agree to "Work Through It" to begin with. He has proven already that he is unfaithful, regardless if he has commited any physical acts with any other women. He clearly doesn't respect you or love you if he is seeking that type of attention from other women. I personally would have left him when I found out he was posting want ads on craigslist. Even if he were doing it because he was lonely, or not getting the type of attention (Sexually or emotionally) that he wanted from you. He has the choice to break up with you and find something that fulfills him more. To do that while he's with you is cheating. He was soliciting women for sexual pleasure, which is the intent to cheat. There'd be nothing left for us to work out, because he would've made it clear that I no longer am what he wants. Regardless of how much he pleaded, I'd be gone.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I trued to get over my DH talking to other women, as far as I know he never wanted to hook up, but he told them things like he didnt know why he got married. Honestly, it didnt matter what was said, he broke my trust and I cant regain that, plus when I tried to let him he did it again. So no, I cant overlook it, but everyone is different. Good luck!
    kimbob2284

    Answer by kimbob2284 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • no- he's was dishonest by making that post, and he was dishonest about the responses.
    there's too many other men out there- get out and get out now!
    don't do what I've done in the past and look at it from the stand point that 'I've invested too much to walk away' - you may have been with him 6 years, but consider this- if you stay you will just be wasting more time.

    This man obviously doesn't cherish you in the way you deserve to be cherished. Go find a man that does.
    I speak from experience. i was with a man for years, had it in my head that he was the only one for me, and thought that the time I invested in him already meant that I should stay with him forever. One day a guy pal of mine pointed out that I wasn't excited about my engagement to him, didn't seem happy at all- that I was looking at it from the standpoint that I couldn't walk away.
    cont-
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN