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Are these normal things for a pediatrician to ask and say?

I spend close to an hour at my son's pediatrican's office every time we go there (she is an older woman running her own office) and she is always asking how we discipline him and then telling us we are doing it wrong (she doesn't like time outs) and then recommends circumcising our son for no health reason just because (he's 2, adopted and came that way) and tells me he should be in daycare because that would be better then me staying home with him. The list goes on and on and I argue with her almost every time I am there. Is this normal?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (42)
  • Well I d k what is normal for other doctors but my dr. didn't ask any of those questions. I would ask her if she could recommend another ped.'s doc.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • No it is not normal, the key point is she is an older woman running her own office. This means most likely she is set in her own generations ways of dealing with kids and is not expected to keep up with new information. FInd a new doctor one who is up to date and who is required to keep their education updated. That is the upside to using a office that has multiple doctors, they have to answer to their partners/clinic and normally they have requirements for keeping up to date on their methods.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Nope. I'd change docs.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • April Fools .....Right? This can't possibly be a real post. Any sane mom would look for a new ped...ASAP!

    :D
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:44 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • She is voicing her opinions, and they seem to be ones that you don't seem to agree with. Both are fine. If you want to keep hearing how you are wrong on almost everything, keep with her. If you want a pediatrician that will back up your decisions, or at least most of them, it would be a good idea for you to find a new ped.

    There have been things that my ped has said and done, I haven't agreed with, and we've each "won a round" or two. In the long run, I generally trust and follow 90% of her advice.

    Personally, I would go with find a new ped. Being a parent is hard enough without the people you trust for advice not being in your corner.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 1:45 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • No, My doctor gives her opinion but never does that. My first daughters doctor was chatty like that, she was very old school but I loved her, and she took care of my daughter. She was wonderful, I stopped taking her there because we moved too far.

    If you think she is a great doctor, then continue to go. If not find another pediatrician.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Change doctors.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • My doctor certainly doesn't do that! Is it possible for you to switch docs? You're supposed to pay her for medical expertise, not life coaching.

    BTW I had my son circ'd at birth, so I am not anti-circ - but who the hell circumcises a 2 year old child with no medical reasoning? That's just crazy.

    My doctor has asked about sleeping patterns and has said something like "If there is continued night wakings we may have to talk about some behavioral adjustments." but he has never made any unwelcome parenting advice such as you describe.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:47 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • It is not a doctor's job to tell you how to parent your child, just to make sure they're healthy. If you and your pedi have different parenting philosophies, and she won't let up on you about it, then you should find a different doctor with whom you're more comfortable. Unless you want to continue to put up with it, of course.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 1:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • CHANGE YOUR PEDIATRICIAN!! she should not giving your personal opinions only professional .. I would talk to her supervisor
    & tell the doc & super that the way you discipline your child ( as long as its not abuse) is your decision & that you will not talk about it with anyone.. if shes ask just say he is safe, we love him.. recent studies from doctors say that there is no medical health concern with circumcising, however I agree boys should be circumcised if the parents want that.. don't argue with her just say he may be adopted but he is mine & I will raise him how I want to, thanks for the advice.. btw congrats.. & time outs are a good discipline 2 min for a 2 yr old 3min 4 a 3 yr..etc..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 1:48 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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