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to CIO or not to CIO..that is the question.

my dd is 22 months old and as of 7ish months ago was a great sleeper...but last aug. she caught a virus, and has been up at least once a night since then..if she's in her own room..i say it's bc of the virus because she'd sleep through the night before that. i don't know what to do..we've tried puting spongebob on for her and walking out of the room..we've tried puting her down drowsy, we've tried puting her down asleep, we've tried laying with her til she falls back asleep, we've tried letting her fuss when she wakes up, we've tried puting her back in bed and walking out...she has a night light, she has a stereo, a first i thought the light from the stereo was scaring her, so i put it in her entertainment center, and nothing...i truely don't know what to do..granted i've had her in our room for too long,..but it's past time for her to be in her room..i;m really tempted to make a cd of dh and i reading books to see if t

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • that wil help..but idk..any advice??? no bashing..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have the SAME Problem... My son started this at 24 months after a virus - that was 5 months ago.. I have zero advice as I have tired to let him CIO and it only made things worse.. I've tried it all.. I waived the white flag and just do what I can each night so we both are getting sleep.. sometimes we do, sometimes we dont.. I am getting no where with advice either... email me if you want to know what I've tried and if you just need some reassurance that you are not alone

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I let my daughter cry it out for two nights in a row and I had no problem laying her down to sleep after that...under normal circmstances. When she is sick,she wakes nightly and then its hard to get her back to sleep. A few times,I've brought in her our room with us, but doing that only makes it worse for the next night,lol.Then I have to let her cry it out again. But it does work. I don't let her cry for more than about 5 minutes if she wakes up during the middle of the night crying. I don't want her to wake everyone else up, then I worry that she pooped or peed through her diaper or something,lol. I'm nuts.
    Try lettin her cry it out,first night, 5 minutes,2nd night,no more than 10 minutes,3rd night no more than 15 minutes. Eventually she should get the hang of it..until she gets sick again and then you have to do it all over again,like us ,lol.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think the cd would help but I also think it's a stage! My dd did that from 18 mos until her daddy came home from Iraq at 21 mos. He's able to look upset better than I am ;) I know CIO is hard, I am the mother that never let her baby cry or whine for a sec without picking her up because I couldn't handle it! At 18 mos, I went in every few mins to comfort her and walked back out, shutting the door behind me. It didn't help, dd would cry all night long if I kept going into her room so I just listened for the hurt or scared cry! She would fake cry for hours because everytime I thought she was hurt, she'd look up and laugh then try to play. I quit going in and she went to sleep a lot faster! Trust me, I felt guilty about listening to her cry but everything I did from rocking her to laying with her or bringing her in bed with me, she only tried to play. I even cut out her naps!! She's 2, and still has her nights however.

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • well for Young kids under 18 months I won't do the CIO method, but your child is 22 months.. umm she no longer sick, right? do have a routine bath, bed, book, hugs (prayer?) good night if so stick to it if not start a routine with the same bed time every day.
    if you do decide it let her CIO please stand outside her door & don't let her cry longer than 5 min. before you do the CIO if she can talk ask her whats wrong.. make sure shes not hurting

    Answer by maiahlynn at 2:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • i do have a routine...after dinner, it's bath time..she'll play for a little while, usually with baby dolls, so she's not over stimulated..and we'll tell her to lay down in her bed about 9,..she's usually showing signs of being tired by then..she fusses but she's been listening the last few nights and has gotten down on her pallat and gone to sleep...i would love to be able to do that with her own bed/room..but i know she'll get up and come back into our room as soon as she gets she's no longer sick..i want to reclaim my hate hearing her CIO bc she screams and screams....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think your routine sounds really good. My only suggestion is to read to her at bedtime. After bathtime, get in bed and read books without sounds or objects that move. Reading usually helps kids settle down by giving them something to focus on without moving. We usually read books for awhile, turn off the lights, and then sing songs while I scratch her back. My biggest trick is to "draw" the ABC's on her back with my fingers while I say the letters outloud. She loves it for some reason. Sometimes she will want me to stay with her until she falls asleep. Although it is a little annoying and takes a long time, I would rather do that then have her CIO. I like bedtime to be enjoyable and relaxing.

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 3:19 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I have heard of people gradually moving the pallet out of their bedroom, like every night it just gets a few feet closer to the door, and just keeps moving toward her room. Or maybe just move the pallet into her room and see if she would sleep on it there. I like the CIO method used by Supernanny, I think it involved putting her into bed the first time with hugs and kisses, the first time she gets up you tell her it's bedtime, honey and put her back in bed, the third time you just say bedtime and after that you just keep taking her and putting her in bed without saying anything. It will likely be rough for a few nights but then she will learn that you are going to make her stay in bed and she will (hopefully) give up the fight. She is old enough to know this is a power struggle but not really old enough to reason with so I think you just have to put your foot down and firmly, but lovingly, fight and win the battle. GL!

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:39 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • 1st - No TV before bed. Research shows that the pixels of a TV activate portions of the brain that make it difficult to sleep. You should never have the TV on the last 2 hours before bed.

    2nd - CIO is not, dispite what some books and moms say, a sleep training method. CIO is neglect. I have known kids to get so upset during CIO that they vomited or pooped all over themselves. It's traumatic and cruel.

    3rd - What worked for my DD was giving her a flashlight for bed. There is a flashlight at Target that is great. It has a nightlight function that doesn't use the battery up, it plug in the outlet directly to recharge, and it is LED so doesn't heat up.

    4th - When all else fails, try Ferber. NEVER leave her unchecked. Ferber is NOT CIO. You must read the book to do it right, there is lot of misinformation about Ferber on the internet.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 6:37 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I think your kid is old enough to go with any sleep training method that the end of it all "cry-it-out" ended up being a kinder approach with my 2 year-old than continuously going to her, and us both (daughter and I) being cranky and sleep deprived the next day.

    It just took about 3 days to go from not being able to fall asleep without me, to crying for no more than 5-10 minutes. Now her cries (if she does it at all) usually don't go past 2 minutes. What I like, is that it's easy to tell now when she cries for longer that something is genuinely wrong.

    You can't do it when your kid is sick, because they genuinely need your help at night then, but once they're all better, you just start over again. Re-training is always much faster than the first training.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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