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my boyfriend is uninterested in sex... i really need advice before i cheat (or go crazy!)

our sex life has been in a rut for a long time, over a year at least. and its only getting less frequent. he is 23, i am 26 and i dont know what to do. i have burned through 3 pocket rockets in the past few months! he will have sex with me if i simply take his clothes off and give him oral...and he has even refused that before. he wont make out with me, i will get naked and prance around (he used to beg for that) but now it does nothing. he has no interest in giving oral to me unless he really wants something lol. we are good on almost everything BUT the sex. i really want him but i dont feel he wants me as much. i dont want to force him to have sex with me, thats not fair to me when i am a young unmarried attractive woman! what do u reccomend other than talkin, bc i talk to him about it every other month! but he falls asleep each night despite my hand rubbing up his thighs! now i think ab all the other men who want to do me!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • idk.. is he cheating? i'm not saying he is, but do YOU think it may be a possiblity to why he's so uninterested.

    btw, PLEASE don't cheat on him. tell him if he doesn't start fucking you more often, you're gonna leave him so you can get the attention you need somewhere else. don't beat around the bush.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Seems to me he has got male issues or he has got some on the side.

    Answer by older at 3:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • OP HERE - forgot to mention that he is totally satisfied if he can bend me over the kitchen table for 5 MINUTES once or twice a month....and those 5 minutes are from start to finish, no forplay, no kissing, no nothing. with me left frustrated. so yesterday he tried to bend me over and take it as always and i told him no, i didnt want a quickie, i wanted to wait until later to get in i showered and shaved all up, and we get in bed extra early and he is asleep 15 minutes after we lay down, he didnt think twice ab having sex!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • You are not alone. My husband is the same way since we had the baby. He is tired all the time and not really interested in sex(that’s what I think). He blames the baby, that we don't have privacy or ....... he never will cheat on me or I never will cheat on him. but I feel when I don't have sex I get angry for every thing and get mad easy. he bought me a butterfly you know, I use that and i like it. I don't know what to do either. good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • hun, if I were you I would look a little deeper in what he does when he is not with you, his behavior is just not normal.

    Answer by older at 3:10 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Spo you are not married to him? You are thinking on finding sex some where else? Just leave him and be happy.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:12 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • I agree with the first post. make it clear to him how unhappy you are with all this and go from there. There may be a physical problem with him, but if he won't look into it, then I see about going on without your life - life is too short to go on like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • i think it's fine, everyone goes through phases, you just have to be true to yourself but also respect the relationship you have with him... everything should be put out there on the table, a big pile of honesty! then do with it what you will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • Maybe he is suffering from depression? I

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

  • TMI- are you sure he's not gay? not that all men with low libidos are, but since he wants nothing much but a bend over quickie, then makes me wonder.
    Had a situation that started this way. all of a sudden he didn't want to bother with much, only wanted it his way or no way. and even then it wasn't that often. Then he suddenly started watching sports that he normally couldn't stand- claiming "that's what men do."
    eventually it was all from behind or he didn't want it.
    I've heard that from a lot with guys before they came out. not necessarily an*l s*x, but before they dropped women altogether they would just have it from behind.
    ask him how he feels about homosexuals- my ex (and the guy he turned out to be sleeping with) would just say pretty much out of no where "boy, do I hate gays!"
    I hope it works out for you, but I personally wouldn't stick around.
    but that's me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Apr. 1, 2010

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